I don't like stuff like this

Typically I don't like posting stuff like this (or reading posts like this), but this song is really easy to relate to for me.



Ha. I am such a dork. I did the numbers last night; I am 0 for 25 of significant crushes that amounted to anything. I am so glad I get to go on a mission and forget all this girl stuff.

Yeah I haven't been posting

Sorry. Kind of a crazy few weeks. ACT and end of term and filming football games and starring in a minor film and you know, I was a little tired of doing stuff. Like writing a blog. But I am back now. I am going to do what I can to start my mission papers. I am really excited for school and stuff. Also, I may be getting a car soon, so that is just the best. Right now I am texting a beautiful girl and watching Young Frankenstein with my parents.

I don't really know how to update you. Basically all my friends who never had a serious relationship are all getting into somewhat serious relationships and I am just 3rd (or 5th or 7th or 9th) wheeling. So that is great. Dear all the girls in the world, I promise I am not as bad as everyone says. They just see me when I am drunk or hung over, which is the only time I am mean. Basically I am nice when I am asleep.

Google it

To the eight people who found my blog via google searching: whyitswyatt.blogspot.com, good work. You found it.

Tactics

I have always had a tactic when it comes to the girl I like. I never go in unaware of exactly how I act. And you know what? I sucked at every mark I tried. I have been working one mark for almost two years now and I just realized that I give up. I cannot succeed if I am trying. I mean, really. Two years. That is a long time without someone even giving you a backwards glance. I know this sounds dumb and frankly a little melodramatic, but I do not care. Because try as I might, my tactics have never succeeded. Believe it or not, I have seen one guy pull off the "nice guy" approach and a million guys get more results trying less in a year than I would in a single text message.
I do not quit often, but I also don't act senselessly. The worst part is that I don't even really want a girl to like me. I just want to be successful at being the type of guy a girl would like. Do you know what I realized? I suck at just that. Two years of cold, hard data backs me up that even when I am doing the best job possible, I can't even get the status of runner up.

Here comes the worst time of the year.

Remember me last year at this time? Yeah, I hate graduation. It makes me cry. I don't like crying, because all my friends laugh at me. Last year will be nothing compared to this year. I am going to cry so much. Just to let you know. At least it'll be the last graduation I cry at.

You know, I complain very little here

I bet you like my blog a little. I do. I have stuff that I would like to put up here but don't for the simple fact that I don't want to bug you with whining.

• I could complain about girls (Because teenage girls always look so great but have so much drama. Kind of like a temperamental sportscar). Seriously, why do girls like jerks?
• I could complain about being the only one at home (Having your parents' undivided parenting attention on you is not fun).
• I could complain about girls that are hypocritical (The type that yell for hours after a sexist joke or if I (jokingly) say that girls are inferior to guys then think it is perfectly alright to use the "I'm a girl," card to get what they want). I hate, hate hypocrisy beyond belief. St. Mark 11, for those of you who want to know how Jesus felt on the subject.
• I could complain about my lack of a car.

But in reality, I won't. Because you don't want to know that I am human. My blog is funny or spiritual or nerdy, so drama isn't what I want to make the main subject. Just know I do have normal person feelings. Don't feel obligated to comment to make me feel better because I am fine. Sorry I just barfed emotion. I feel better now.

Church

I wake up at 8:00. I get to church by 8:30. I set up chairs in the Cultural Hall, the Relief Society room, and the Primary Room. I then go sit on the stand and get ready to bless the sacrament. Sacrament meeting ends and I grab my Bible, Book of Mormon, Pearl of Great Price, Doctrine and Covenants, Preach My Gospel, Duty to God, For the Strength of Youth, Study Journal and True to the Faith, then head to class. I sit in Sunday school, trying to listen to Cecil, hearing the jabber mouth of my class, and ignoring the girl who hates me. I go to Priests quorum. I listen to whoever is speaking and punch Taft. For some reason I always write on the board as a scribe (Probably because Aaron McArthur can't write legibly). I go do my assignments, then I go home. On 2nd and 4th Sundays I stay in my church clothes until 3:00, waiting for Mission Prep. Class.

That is my regular schedule. When it comes to my place in my ward, I am the goofball. You know Sokka from Avatar? I'm similar to him. I am hardly taken seriously by anyone in the youth organization. Today was strange.

Two weeks ago we decided to come up with ideas for Youth Conference and we needed someone to go to the planning meeting in two weeks (today). I volunteered. Everyone said I was too silly and we needed someone serious, but no one really changed the plan. So today I went to the meeting. It involved one youth and one leader from each group participating (Priests, Teachers, Miamaids, and Laurels) and a few of the bishopric members. I walked and arrived early. I realized that I, a representative of the Priests, would be conducting the entire planning meeting.

We started and I conducted. I can say without a doubt that I totally messed up in the first sentence. Then it went perfect. We had a great meeting. I saw my leader, Brother Cloward, nod his head after many things I said. As a council, we found our theme and a scripture: "Go Forward With Faith" 2 Nephi 31:20. We made a plan. I took the reins and I rocked it. I don't often let myself feel good about my accomplishments, but I really aced it. It feels good to feel proud of my actions. 

It feels better to be taken seriously.

Greatest Fear.

Greatest Fear

I am proud to say that I am very brave (at least in past circumstances I have proven myself). I believe that, if needs be, I could do anything. If the situation was grave enough, I would be victorious. But I am not fearless. I submit to you my greatest fear: I fear that those I love and care deeply about don't care about me, or worse yet, dislike me. I am afraid that my friends who I would die for think of me as next to nothing. I fear that my best is not good enough. I fear I am a nuisance. I always think it and I hate it. I don't know if I'm anything worth caring for.

But then I remember someone, the greatest person ever to love. I remember our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He loves me. He knows who I am and still, He loves me. He rejoices when I make good choices, even when I am alone. When I make bad choices, He waits with open arms of forgiveness. No matter the problems in my life, He and my Father in Heaven will support me.

Jesus, my older brother, loves me enough that He died so I may be eternally happy. He suffered pain and scorn because He knew it would be worth doing. And He did not do this just for me. He did this for my friends, my neighbors, everyone who has been on this earth or will be on this earth. He is our shepherd, the voice in the dark, calling us to the light. He did so much for us because He loves us. He loves me.

So from now on, if you ever wonder, Am I good enough?, just remember, He knows you are and no one else can even compare.

Not quite there

I am not part of any group exclusively. I am friends with everyone. You may think Hey that's cool, you have tons of good friends instead of one group. Yes that sounds cool, but believe me, it's not. I feel like an orphan. Everyone has there own group of friends, their family. I am a loner, a secret orphan. I may be good friends with you, but I am not part of that group. And when your family goes to do something, you usually do not invite the almost family. It's not that you dislike him, it's just that you think he has his own family. I am the outcast friend, the one that has so many allegiances that I don't really have any.

I don't mean to sound whiny, that's what I chose. I just feel so different. I need a family, no matter what. Even Mr. Potter did not want friends and popularity, he wanted a family. I love all my friends and I am grateful for them. They are such a blessing to me. I must go, my mom is eating my doughnut.

It is summer

If you look to the left of this wonderful text you will see the books I'm reading. I have too much time on my hands. I put in my two weeks notice yesterday. Sooooo happy. Goodbye Macey's, hello tamsolutions.

Growing Up

There are very few things that upset me. I quote my friend and scout leader, Corry Cloward, "Wyatt, you have a very long fuse and when it reaches the end, there is not much of an explosion." One thing that upsets me is senseless action, doing something for no reason. A thing that I despise is senseless emotion, feeling a certain way about someone without reason or because of outdated reasons. There are two people in particular (I am very tempted to tell you their names, but I will not) that seem to hate me senselessly. Here is some background:

Person number one is a girl I have known for a while. She and I used to play together when we were little. She is the only girl I'm her family and got anything she wanted. I was the youngest of six boys and the opposite was true of me. She would try to make me do what she wanted and, when I wouldn't conform to her will, she disliked me. Fair enough, for a five year old brat. Now she is almost fifteen and treats me like my scout crew treated the giant spiders in the last post: so disgusted that the only thing you can do is pretend to not see them until you are forced to pay attention enough to smash them. She despises me. She let things that happened almost ten years ago rule her way of thinking and it makes me sad. I wish I knew the friendship that could've developed, if not in past years than more recently. Sure I could've been more Christ-like when I was seven, but I was seven.

Person number two hates me. He tries to run my life and hates almost every decision I make. Some days he pushes me too far. The other day I wrote this:

"[He] has driven me almost to the point of hate. He is so quick to judge me, tries to run my life and is altogether a complete and total jerk to me. I don't understand his logic. I really do try with him. I don't yell at him, I take his taunts and his putdowns without a word against him and I try to forget about what he does to me. It does not work. I could have all the patience in the world and [he] would still wear it down. My only hope is that someday he will actually treat me with human decency." 

I have been thinking about these two people more and more over the past week or so. They are not the first people to hate me or will the be the last. I have had some of my current friends hate me, but I was able to turn them from enemy to friend without too much trouble. I cannot figure out what to do with these two, though. I almost never give up on people, so the thought of not trying to be friends with them seems un-Christ-like to me. But there is nothing active I can do. My mindset now is if I try to be their friend, they will like me. I need to think more along the lines of, "If I continue being as kind as possible to them, I will have no fault. They will be the ones suffering and I will be fine." I love them and want to be their friends, so all I can do is just that: be their friends.

So I guess this is what growing up feels like, eh? It is not as painful as I imagined.

Best feelings in the world

You know, the stuff that makes you really happy

• Waking up on General Conference Sunday to your mother preparing breakfast.
• "Aha!" moments when you are reading the scriptures.
• When your niece (maybe nephew, also, I don't have one) spontaneously hugs you and says, "I love you!"
• After a long day of laborious work, finally turning off the light, closing your eyes and just relaxing into sleep.
• Waking up just before your alarm, fully prepared for the day.
• Taking a shower/bath after a camp out (especially week long trips).
• Walking down Main Street USA and waiting for Disneyland to open.
• Realizing that your friend is super amazing.
• Eating Strawberries and Cream.
• Proving a teacher wrong.
• Bearing your testimony.
• Seeing someone who you missed.
• The moment you realize your hiccups are gone.
• Starting a fire with one match.
• Wake up to your alarm only to realize you just forgot to turn it off, then going back to sleep.
• Finishing a great novel.
• Finishing a Christopher Nolan film.
• Sitting in your house talking to friends during a giant rainstorm.
• Running around in a giant rainstorm.
• Having a 1 on 1 snowball fight with your best friend in summer clothing.
• Looking out on Utah Valley from the top of Mount Timpanogos.
• Cliff jumping.
• Finding something after days of searching (with plenty of praying).
• Opening the door of the car that transported you from winter Utah to beautiful California and feeling the temperature rise 20˚.
• Thinking about almost lost memories that are fond.
• What you feel as you do service with your whole heart.
• Applying the Atonement to your life.
• Being friends with those who need it.

Why I will never complain about sunburns.

For those of you who are squeamish, do not view this post.

Like seriously. I was crying during Strawberry Days. It was really bad. How bad? You may ask. Well second degree bad (which, if you continue, you will see causes blisters). Wear sunscreen, kids.

And that is why I can stand a tiny bit of red skin.

Here are some videos

The best of youtube, all on one post.

Graduation

So I went to graduation today. I said goodbye to my friends. This post is not about them.

I have always put a ton of pressure on myself for high school. This is a pivotal time. If I do not get good enough grades, if I don't get a good ACT score, if I fail to grow spiritually, my wife, children, and posterity will all suffer because of it. I need to go to the right college and I cannot do that without the best of grades. My life hinges on these moments.

I realized that in less than two years, I will be graduating. Hopefully by then I will have my associates degree from UVU. Within the next ten years, my life will change dramatically.

I love the summer, because for the most part, I do not need to care. During school though, my life will change for the better.

Chickens

So I went to my grandmother's house today, which is pretty typical of Memorial Day. Since my grandparents and cousins have houses near enough to each other, they have a collectively huge backyard. My cousins also have chickens in this backyard. So, when I went out there today, I saw this:

For some strange reason, my first impulse was to lift one over my head, like this:

Then I realized I am a total nerd. I love Legend of Zelda.

Luckily I did not have a sword, so this did not happen:

Heck, that would have been freaking awesome, even if I did die.

I have talents, kind of.

Here is a video I haven't shown ANYONE. I have been working on it for 169 days. I hope you like it.

I just like this one:

Loss of a Loved One

I realized something that will happen. I kid you not, my eyes are watering as I think of this. Over the past 8ish months, I have become really good friends with a lot of seniors. I never thought about it until the beginning of this post, but my friends are graduating and getting lives. I hate it. Why are they going without me. It's like when all your friends go to a party that everyone wants you to go to, but you cannot because you have to work the worst job in the world: school. I hate it so much.

I think I should be happy for your sakes. I am going on my first date this weekend, so I am pretty psyched for that. I am going on a date with a terrific young woman, Kassie Hymas, and doubling with one of my best friends, Nate Champ Church, who is going with another great lady, Marissa Smith. What could be better? We are playing GOOD boardgames, possibly eating food, and watching (edited) Ferris Bueller's Day Off. It is going to be (pardon my non-originalness) soooooooooooooo sick!

Ideas

So I finally wrote down thoughts I had that I would like to blog about. Here is the first on the list:

This is a story. It is a sad and true story about my grade school experience. First, let's get something straight: I am ridiculously hypocritical here and I do not resent these people. Though I will say mean adjectives, do not be biased. Only I can do that. Anyway, when I was beginning 3rd grade, I was pretty psyched, to say the least. The first day, well, it was the first day of school. My teacher was showing us a puzzle and saying that we were all pieces and all that crap, when my mother and father checked me out.


We went to lunch at my favorite restaurant and my parents asked me about school. I told them it was fun. My mom asked me if I wanted to go to a different school. Somehow, I was convinced that playing the violin, learning French, and restaurant lunches outweighed wearing uniforms everyday and about 20 kids per grade.


So there I was, a student of John Hancock Charter School. This school had just started the year before, so all the kids in my grade were already friends. I, on the other hand, was friendless. Except one. Jared Larsen was my friend. He was everyone's friend. I loved being his friend. There were twenty-two other kids in my class. I did not fit in. I was nervous, so I tried to fit in. 3rd grade was the best of my four years at John Hancock. I had a good teacher, my peers weren't as critical, and the lunches were awesome. 


Fourth grade is where it really turned for the worst; Jared left. His departure made me cry for weeks. I had a few more classmates, but the were fitting in just fine. My peers were not good to me. If one person was mad at me, the whole group was mad. I couldn't find a niche, so I got angry. If you know me, you know I am not an inherently person, so I want you to understand my full meaning when I say that I got beyond angry. I fought every month and got detention oftener. I was never happy. I dreaded going to school knowing that those kids would be there. That is how it went in fifth grade, too. Also, the school food was worse.


Sixth grade was not fun. There were many jerks in my class that I could not understand. They seemed to hate me just because I am me. The girl I thought was cute put a "restraining order" on me, with the jerk kids on the jury. I ripped it up. That year the fights were more common. I cannot remember a day I did not go to the bathroom to cry. The food sucked. I wanted to leave. No one enjoys going to a place everyday full of people who hate you. I wanted, nay, needed, to leave. So the next year, I became a Viking. My life is now awesome.


LESSON: If you aren't a Viking, everyone will hate you.


So I have Spring Break in 17 hours and 25 minutes. I am hating every second of delay.

Here is some fun stuff: