A message to girls

You don't have to be awkward around a guy just because you don't like him anymore. Because honestly, it just makes them sad.

Success.

I am sorry if I have seemed dramatic the past few posts. I figured whoever was commenting was joking, but I don't condone cyber bullying in any way. Having been someone that jokes (more than I am serious, for that matter), I have been the accidental bully myself. I am not that self conscious, but because I figured I would never get the chance to discuss the topic with the anonymous blogger, I figured posting that would show what I had to learn the hard way.

This fits with anyone and any form of joking. You don't know who is vulnerable, even if you think you do. I am fine, but I have struggled with my self image and this did make me feel bad a little. Just remember, the world is a hard place. You can make it easier for everyone by being a friend always.

I don't like tooting my own horn, but someone shared this story with me that made me realize even more how true this is.

Once I was at a party where I didn't know anyone but the host. It was an awkward situation. And, needless to say, I was kinda uncomfortable. But I remember this hilarious guy over in the corner. He was pretty attractive, I must say. I watched him from afar. The way an awkward outsider who frequently creeps on other people's conversations does. This guy was downright hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing at his witty remarks. And then, a little bit later, that gentleman introduced himself and was kind to me the whole night. He was one of those rare hilarious gents who has his head on straight. One that everyone admires and some fools show that as envy. One that makes you laugh till your sides split, but knows when it's right to joke, and when it's good to be serious. He made my night. He involved me in conversations when I was an outsider.

I honestly have no memory of this occurrence, which helps. You literally have no idea when you will have the opportunity to be someone's best friend, even just for a night. You have the power to make someone worse, but you have more power to make them better.

How's that for a lesson learned through deception and trickery? Really though, sorry for the mislead (even though I did start out that post saying, "I am a liar. I lie a ton."). I thought this ended better than I was planning. Also, a side lesson for you: Don't tangle with Wyatt Duclos via written word, because he is like the Superman of the English language.

Also, if you are completely lost as to what I am talking about (it's a hard thing to follow), read this post and the comments, then this post and it's comments, then finally this post. Hopefully that will help you understand what happened.

Purging the system

Once upon a time there was a show called Doctor Who. There still is, I just want to refer back to a certain point in the show. So if you don't know, Doctor Who is a British TV show that follows the life of a time traveling alien known as the Doctor. It was really big in the sixties, seventies, and eighties. The thing about the Doctor is if he gets injured and has enough time, he can regenerate. Basically this gives the producers a way to change the main actor and retain the same character. Anyway, a reboot start in 2005.

The tenth Doctor, played by David Tennant, was around for a good three seasons and he was the face of Doctor Who right when I got into it. Really, he was the best thing I could imagine for the show. He just fit. There were characters that he had met (both as the ninth and tenth doctors) that were a part of the plot and I really started to like them a lot. They were really quirky and it was a fun point in the story.

Then something happened.

David decided to leave. I didn't think I would like that. Who is he to leave the perfect show? He was perfect. The whole situation was perfect. But it was over. I didn't know what the show had in store for me, but I couldn't imagine anything better than the tenth doctor.

The eleventh doctor looked weird. He sounded weird. He acted weird. It was weird. Not only that, but the show felt different. His ship, the TARDIS, was different. His weapon of choice, the sonic screwdriver, changed. None of my favorite characters were there. They had all left when David did. 

That's when I realized the show was purging the system. It was starting fresh. It had a good run with the tenth doctor, the best yet, according to some people. But they knew they needed to move on. David was not going to be coming back, so they knew the only thing they could do was make the next situation as great as they could, without anything supporting them that had been established by David's doctor.

And honestly, I did not like it at all. This Matt Smith guy was crazy. But after a while, I started to love it more than before. I found myself not wanting to even remember that there was any other doctor than Matt Smith.

So with that long analogy, just note that I am purging the romantic system. Cleaning the whole rhino and not just the legs. What? Yeah that didn't make much sense. Sorry, I am tired. System is purging. 

I've Always Been a Fool

I've done this:

Always Been a Fool
Big Fish — MOVIECLIPS.com

Now I need to do this:

Field of Daffodils
Big Fish — MOVIECLIPS.com

Successful holidays (so far)

I'm picky when it comes to music. I am pretty easy going, but there are certain standards that I feel everyone should follow, like listening to country music only on February 30 or destroying any trace of the Monster Mash. One thing that a lot of people don't seem to agree with me about and that is waiting until after Thanksgiving to celebrate Christmas. I just say one holiday at a time (and if feel the urge to change my opinion on the subject, I will feel the urge to delete your comment(s)).

This holiday season has been really great. Thanksgiving is on Thursday and I have hardly had to deal with the Christmas problem. I am really happy because I completely avoided the Monster Mash this Halloween, so I am shooting for a perfect season. And I have been successful so far. So please, just wait until Black African American Friday (that was close).

Oh, and:

171 hours

Not much better than before. I'm doing the right thing, right?

It would help if it weren't impossible.

I guess I am an idiot

My mouth kept moving and my brain is just thinking, "Who told you to say that?!" Sometimes I just hate my action-first style. It really shows how dumb I am.

Now my blog is trying to make you think I am crazy

I swear the count was way down yesterday. I promise.

I don't know why

But I get hurt more from two hours of ice skating than a lifetime of backfield sports. Football, Frisbee, soccer. I never needed a bandaid and I never still hurt the next day. And the weird part is the worst injury has nothing to do with the fact that I fell. Some people just got all the moves.

As far as young ladies are concerned

I won't be thinking about you until I am twenty. Sorry 'bout that.

I don't understand

I am an easy going guy. I don't often dislike something. As of now, I have no enemies or anything. I have a couple things I don't like. Among those are two things: country music and non-Christian Christmas music from January to the day after Thanksgiving.

Apparently that is unacceptable. It's not that I try to impose my beliefs on the matter on the whole world. I just prefer that if someone is with me and they refuse to turn off that kind of music, I prefer not to listen. 

Apparently I am a jerk for that. Apparently just because I don't want to listen to that, I am the worst human being on the planet. I feel that I have a right to live my life how I want. It's not like I am killing people or something, but I feel so judged.

So I don't care anymore. Go ahead and hate me for it. It is my choice, and really it's not that horrible of a choice.

I got it.

I have always wanted to not be the weirdo. I know I am not always that bad, but I almost always alienate myself from those around me unintentionally. I have always wanted to be part of the group, even for a few hours.
I think tonight was the first time I wasn't random, weird or nerdy. It was pretty great. If you don't already know me, one of the biggest features I have is also one of the things I hate most about myself: I make neurological connections quickly and vastly. Like in one second the phrase "ice cream" might cause this mental flow:

1. Ice cream to Ice cream cone
2. Ice cream cone to double ice cream cone
3. Double ice cream cone to Mr. Bean
4. Mr. Bean to Rowan Atkinson
5. Rowan Atkinson to Matt Smith
6. Matt Smith to Doctor Who
7. Doctor Who to season premiere of Doctor Who
8. Season premiere of Doctor Who to August 24
9. August 24 to school
10. School to English
11. English to To Kill a Mockingbird

Then I would say something about To Kill a Mockingbird. That is why everyone thinks I am random. I am not random, I just think quickly and highly efficiently. Tonight though, I managed to stay myself without revealing that someone saying something about frozen dairy reminded me of a 1930's southern Alabama lawyer's six-year-old daughter.
I had a really great time. I went to Taco Amigo and ran into Maren and Spencer and Alyssa and Aubrey. We ate until they kicked us out and then we dropped Aubrey and Alyssa off at home and went to Nicole's house to say hi. I was not weird.
I loved it. I didn't realize I did it until now, but I got exactly what I wanted. Even though people say "be yourself" and "normal is lame," I really enjoyed myself. I didn't ever get those awkward pauses after I tell a joke that others don't get. I wasn't completely normal; I still talked like Sean Connery for a while. I did throw in a Star Wars reference. I did get one slightly awkward pause. But I was exactly the person I want to be. It was great.

Come fly with me

It was the perfect two hours to end the perfect final summer. Next time I don't have school, I won't have to go back. I will not be a child. I will not be relaxed. Next summer summer turns into another season. It won't mean freedom. It won't represent a time where people can't oppress us. It will be the beginning of the rest of our lives. And I don't want it. I don't want this summer to end. Today was honestly the first full, real day of summer for me. Now it is over. And now I am two semesters away from never being a kid again. I don't want it. I want to be here forever.
I just realized why Wendy flew out of that window with Peter. She didn't want the magic to end. Now I wish I could fly away from adulthood forever. I could stand being a kid for the rest of eternity. I don't want to leave this sense of freedom behind. I want to be a kid and never an adult. But that won't happen, so here we go.

Answers

I had a rough night. Just one where you kind of lose faith in yourself. One where you realize that you are not as good as you thought you were. I read a scripture during my study session that I just had to share:

 9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities...for when I am weak, then am I strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

The Lord does what he can to make our lives as good as possible. The Lord helps us.

Two Hundredth Post!

This is the post of two hundred. I am pretty happy right now, because I am sitting down, not working, and just relaxing. It is amazing. I don't know who I should ask to Homecoming. Should I ask that one girl, or just a friend? Will she want to go with me or would it suck because she would rather go with someone else? Is there someone who wants to go with me that I could ask but don't know about? It's just…you know. I know who I want to ask, but I don't know if I should. It's just the worst.

I would rather just fly out on the Millennium Falcon. 

Greatness

All you should watch is from 1:55 on.


I have recently been contemplating what makes a great man. I think I figured it out. A great man is he who does what he needs in order to succeed, but in a way that will help (or at least not hurt) other people.
My good friend, Josh, recently had a testing experience. He had received a very revealing piece of evidence to show the true nature of one of his enemies' character. He had recently gotten the upper hand on this person and it would have been very reasonable to share this information, thus crushing the enemy beneath him on his rise to the victor's cup. As Winston Churchhill once said, "Great and good are seldom the same man." I would like to add to what he says. Great and good are seldom the same man, but when it happens a legend is born. Well Josh is a legend.
Greatness is not a mean, it is an end. Some say to be great is to be misunderstood and I agree with that to a point. But true, Christlike greatness cannot be misunderstood, because all men know what it is: complete and utter righteousness.
So like Josh, or Malcolm Reynolds, or Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez, we must strive to be. Because greatness, true greatness, makes legends. And that is pretty legen(wait for it)dary. Legendary.

Jealousy?

I was a little jealous of my friend tonight. He isn't that attractive (I am just guessing here, I have no idea how to judge guys). But really there is a girl who is super pretty who has a crush on himm. I kind of had a pity party for myself. Why do girls not like me? What is wrong with me?

It's simple to admit that I am not that good looking, nice, or even funny. Often I am just a total spaz. But all my brothers are married or have at least had a girlfriend. I just suck, I guess. I must be so unique, I am not even a high school student.

And in reality, I hardly hang out with people my age, relatively speaking. I could handle myself around 20-30 year old people just as well as any teenagers. I don't act like anyone else. I am like what a hipster dreams of being (only I am no hipster). 

I am special because no one else has to be like me. I was the one who was burdened with being this opinionated, rude, smart, smart mouthed, and girl crazy. I am not a catch, but I definitely am something. If girls are fishers, I am not a fish. I am like a rare 1800's flintlock pistol floating in the sea. Cool, unique, fun, funny to tell stories about, but in the end I will probably be thrown back without much regard (because for the most part, girls don't know much about guns). 

So I am no fish. I am just a spaz. But that is why I will be famous and you will have a girlfriend. 

See?

I must be pretty fetching great then.

So I don't have homework...or school

It is peculiar not having something hanging over me. It hasn't sunk in yet. I keep feeling burdened by AP tests and having to write BS emotional papers (pardon the suggested swearing, I just really hated those papers). I will never have a certain teacher again. I won't have math homework until after my mission at the earliest. I am free. I just need to convince the part of my mind that still feels like I'm procrastinating something.
I can read for pleasure. I can write something I really like. I don't have to wake up at 7:00 every morning to go to torture. It is over for a few months. I am free. I am on my way. I am on my way back to where I want to be.
Also, I really like that chapter.

So here is the thing about last year...

Turns out I skipped all of 2011 due to a rip in the time-space continuum. So I went back in time near the beginning of 2013 and lived all the way to about right now. I am going back to live my the rest of my senior year. Oh one more thing, I went farther in time and I turn out a really hot, famous author, so if your a girl and are reading this, I would definitely pre-order me. Seriously though.

Stay Up Late Writing

A stupid paper about a stupid lie for a stupid class that has a stupid teacher and then have the stupid printer break. Then you might feel the way I feel right now. I guess those other three assignments would've been worth tackling before the stupid five page paper. Stupid.