I'm going to be super blunt

A while back, I thought I wanted to write for my readers. But I would rather take some advice from a good friend of mine, Jameson Ricks. "Don't write for people, write for yourself. It makes a lot of difference." I am going to write my blatant thoughts, unedited. I don't care if you don't like it, you can just not read it. I will delete comments that annoy me, because this is my blog.

Either you are getting ready to go on a mission or you have a girlfriend. Seriously guys. How can you be preparing your heart, mind, might and strength to be given to the Lord if you don't have your heart with you? Missions are not just casually things. These two years are more important than the other 18 to 19 years combined. Nothing you have done thus far will compare to them because you have been acting in your own name. You are preparing to represent Jesus Christ literally. YOU ARE TAKING UPON YOURSELF HIS NAME! This is not a mess around time. Stop it. Just stop being a self centered idiot and realize that eternal salvation is on the line and you will regret every moment you were distracted from preparing. 

Another thing: The doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and the doctrine of gay marriage do not work together. A majority of active members of the church can tell you that they would follow the gospel to the point of dying for it. But bring up gay marriage and some get a little, "Eeehhhhh...I don't think the church is right on this one." News flash, guys. EITHER IT'S ALL TRUE OR IT'S ALL FALSE. THE GOSPEL IS NOT PICK AND CHOOSE. YOU EITHER BELIEVE EVERYTHING OR NOTHING. YOU CANNOT HAVE A LASTING TESTIMONY OF 99% OF THE GOSPEL. THIS IS A BLACK AND WHITE SITUATION. Did I make that clear to understand? 

Different topic. What's with girls these days? Every girl turned into a piranha. A "craving senior guys with their mission calls" piranha. Seriously. Every single one of my friends with a call has a girl that could easily become their girlfriend. Heck, since I got my call I've found out about three girls have crushes on me. ME! Are you stupid? No girls like me. For lots of good reasons. I am not being hard on myself, but rather them. Just stop! I am not on the market because the salesman saw that I was moldy or something and threw me away. Why rummage in the garbage? (Don't comment comforting me, I like bashing myself. It only makes the finale more ironic when it turns out my wife is perfect) And another thing about girls! When did they all just go up at least three points each? I mean really, girls are so fetching good looking. JUST GO AWAY! I  can't deal with you right now. I have never wanted to go to an all-guys school more than I do now.

I don't know why I act weird or why people like it. Personally, I hate it. I wish I was just not a weirdy. 

Why has almost all of music and television and movies gone down the crapper? Who wants another freaking Transformers movie? The world's taste is deteriorating. Have you heard the top ten iTunes songs? Only one is clean and that's because it's written by a Mormon (which I am not angry about. I approve of famous Mormon musicians. Like him.) I am starting to hate pop culture. Me. The Abed of Pleasant Grove. The guy that can quote a movie for every situation. The guy that has seen more movies than any person should. That should tell you how bad it's getting out there.

I am just so annoyed by a few things and I needed to vent and so I wrote for myself. Sorry if you cried because I hurt your feelings. You read it without me forcing you to.

A message to girls

You don't have to be awkward around a guy just because you don't like him anymore. Because honestly, it just makes them sad.

Motivation

Suddenly I feel so motivated to practice on the punching bag I have down stairs.

I am not an angry person

As my scout leader once said, I have a long fuse and, when it gets to the end, there is not much of an explosion. I don't feel too angry most of the time. But there is one thing that people do that infuriates me. I hate hypocrisy. So much. I just can't stand it. It hurts me to see guys who I know are not trying get away with it. When a guy acts immoral and a girl still likes him, he knows he can get away with it, if he hides it enough. I see guys talking to really strong LDS girls, making the girls think they are living the gospel, but then I can't sit next to them for five minutes because of how they talk. It makes me seriously consider getting in a fight. They won't attack me personally, but they make me think of stuff like this:
 “They draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me..."
It makes me sad. Seriously, I can control my anger, but I think I have come closer to a full on fist fight over this than any other topic. So guys, stop being hypocrites. Girls, stop liking them. Seriously, you can't be falling for that crap. Wake up.



Sorry if this post seemed mean. It was. I am angry. Sorry, I try not to be, but it's better than beating up a stupid idiot who acts righteous just to kiss girls. I know I shouldn't judge others, but really, I am only human.

That moment

I like to say that I am always right. Because I am always right. I know when it won't work out and I know when it will. That's why the moment of heart break blindsided me. I was wrong. It sucks being wrong.

171 hours

Not much better than before. I'm doing the right thing, right?

It would help if it weren't impossible.

It gets worse.

You guys probably have figured out that I am a hopeless romantic. And it gets worse. I have liked a girl for two years. And it's getting worse. Everything she says, every picture I see, she gets better.  The more in love I become. The more evident my "hopeless" factor becomes. The worse it gets.

Tactics

I have always had a tactic when it comes to the girl I like. I never go in unaware of exactly how I act. And you know what? I sucked at every mark I tried. I have been working one mark for almost two years now and I just realized that I give up. I cannot succeed if I am trying. I mean, really. Two years. That is a long time without someone even giving you a backwards glance. I know this sounds dumb and frankly a little melodramatic, but I do not care. Because try as I might, my tactics have never succeeded. Believe it or not, I have seen one guy pull off the "nice guy" approach and a million guys get more results trying less in a year than I would in a single text message.
I do not quit often, but I also don't act senselessly. The worst part is that I don't even really want a girl to like me. I just want to be successful at being the type of guy a girl would like. Do you know what I realized? I suck at just that. Two years of cold, hard data backs me up that even when I am doing the best job possible, I can't even get the status of runner up.

To Hollywood.

I am not usually one to criticize films and especially the film industry. I do not expect perfection and therefore do not get disappointed. However, there is one reoccurring flaw in many films in almost every genre. The nerdy, different kid does not get the girl. I'm not saying that he doesn't get the head cheerleader that so often snags said character's heart for the first hour of the film. I mean the girl of quality. I have inadvertently studied this scenario for my entire life and one blatant truth never fails to rear its ugly head: the movies are lying. The nerdy guy doesn't get the girl in the beginning or even the girl in the end. What he gets is the friendship card stapled to his forehead.
Hollywood, I love you. I see your cinematographic splendor and your directing genius and I want nothing more to study you for days on end. If a veteran told you the war scenarios in your film were off, you'd listen because he is a professional. Well, this professional is saying that you guys really need to do some more research.
—W.R. Duclos

I don't need any comfort in the comments, I just needed to vent.

Inception

There is something that has bothered me for a long while. People wanting to know about the top at the end of Inception. "Does it fall? Is this a dream?" What's worse is when people say they hate the film because the question is not answered. In truth, however, Christopher Nolan didn't want you to care. At the end of the film Cobbe is home with his children and he spins his top, his totem, to see if it is real life or a dream. But he leaves the top, not waiting to see if it falls. The message Nolan was trying to convey was that it didn't matter to Cobbe if it was real or not, he was happy and that was all that mattered.

But it totally would've fallen.

Paper for English

I really couldn't stand my English teacher. Or his writing prompts. Do animals feel pain? Yeah, I wasn't going to BS another paper. Here it is, unedited.

He is correct, I did not present a whole story. But I sure as heck made him look dumb.

I am taking a test right now

For a stupid class. I am actually writing this at 11:55 Wednesday night, but I know I will be angry right now. So let's just have something great.

It'll take me a lot of courage tomorrow. Well I guess today since this won't post until tomorrow. Weird. I am tired.

Near death and bird whispering

So after I went post happy Saturday, I went on a hike to my favorite area in the world, Indian Springs. Taft and I went up there. As we neared the spring, I noticed a rattler as big as my arm at its thickest point three feet from Taft and about a foot off the trail. Let us just say we booked it out of that area. So yeah, I came a foot away from almost certain death.
Today, I was trying to impress a girl (pretty far fetched, right?). Anyway, we started talking about the hummingbird feeder on my back porch. She was enthralled that the hummingbirds would stop flying to perch on the feeder. For some reason, this conversation reminded me of a story I was once told about my brother, Bob, and him holding a wild hummingbird. All I remember from the story is that he held his hand next to the feeder for a long time without moving and it landed on him. I hadn't much foresight as I said, "This will take a minute." I really didn't have any clue or even any hope that it would work. But sure enough, as the first hummingbird approached, it perched on my outstretched finger. I guess I am really impressive, but it really isn't a big deal. I didn't get a video and when I tried again for seven minutes while recording, I ended up with nothing. But I mean, ha. I am pretty proud of my ability to go headfirst into that. Good educated guess.
I will eventually continue writing the book that I am always thinking about on Friday. It just sucks because as the highest student in any of my teacher's English classes on the CRT (I aced it with 100%), it's hard to believe I have a C-. Actually it's not too hard when you know that my English teacher hates me. But we won't name names because I don't slander people.
School? Stupid. Next year will be better.
Also, this post has a lot of labels. It is just that everywhere.

First timer

For the first time in my life, while writing a paper, I cannot put down exactly what I am thinking. I mean seriously, I don't know what is wrong with me. It's like my mom not being able to cook amazing food or Shawn Spencer not being observant. It just doesn't, nor should not, happen. Weird.

Shaken, not shtirred.

I went to Prom and felt like one Sir Sean Connery as Agent 007 of MI6. Let's just say my date was aware of how I felt. She may have made it sound better than it really was. I was more accurate.

More Prom stuff will be up once I get pictures. I am mostly excited to see pictures of her because boy was she beautiful.

Today I was put to the task of getting my cousins' cat out of my grandparents' home. Let us just say that I do not do well with felines.

Suckishness

Sorry this has been the most boring blog in the freaking world lately. I have not really had the time to write that I wish I had. For example, on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I was gone for fourteen hours. WIth the exception of 9 hours last night, I got a total of 15 hours of sleep. I have had math up the wazoo and it kind of sucks.

But I have had some good stuff in my life. I had an undying hatred for someone at the beginning of the week who I now love (not that I trust him, you can love somebody and still not trust them).  I also have been rocking it at work and tore apart more computers in two hours on Tuesday than I usually did all day when I started working there.

I also took a math test on Friday that I felt went really well. It was fun. Ha. Just kidding. Math is never fun. I made doughnuts (I don't like the other spelling, "donuts") from scratch on Monday. Devil's Food Cake and they were delicious.

I watched the edited version of IMDB's #10 highest rated film, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I have yet to finish it, but I really like it. Great acting, great cinematography, and great directing. Jack Nicholson is a visionary with some of the scenes he made up. But don't watch it unedited. I could tell a lot of editing was done and I would not watch it if I did not have AMC's editing prowess backing me up.

I also went to Washington D.C. and Nashville, Tennessee last week for spring break. I ate so much food last Thursday and Friday, I almost exploded. Thursday night I had the bright idea to go running after eating beyond a normal person's capacity. I went into the hotel exercise room which had a whole wall with windows into the pool area, where there were a couple of teenagers.
After a quarter mile, I felt as though my everything was going to die, so I wisely stopped running as to avoid exploding ribs and smoked turkey onto the carpet. As I sat and composed my stomach, I realized that the teenagers had taken notice of me. But, the only thing they had seen was me running at a leisurely pace for a quarter mile that resting for a long time. Needless to say, I felt like a spaz. Then for a reason unknown to any scientific proofs or religious revelations or philosophical discoveries, one of the girls waved at me. I made sure she was waving at me (it had to be me because I was the only one it could've been), then awkwardly waved back. Cool story.

There is this girl I like who I haven't seen for a majority of the past two weeks because of vacations and stuff. She is just the best. This is going to sound super cliche, but she brings the best out of me. With her beautiful expressions (seriously, I have never seen anyone else who cannot contort their face into an ugly look, but regardless of what she does, her face is always beyond perfect), she really makes me want to be as perfect as she is. I am so grateful for my friendship with her and would not trade it for anything (except maybe a flying DeLorean with a flux capacitor). Seriously though, best person award goes to her.

This has been my life for the past two weeks. I have had a great time and a horrible time. I have wanted to sing, "Hallelujah," and I've wanted to shoot a burro. But all in all, I'd say it was a worthwhile time.

P.S. Also, I started a novel that I will be sharing soon.

Sometimes

Sometimes it really annoys me that I have to hide exactly how I feel. It kind of sucks. You haven't a clue.

I feel vague

Something about the last few posts makes me feel as though I am being extremely vague. So I am just going to say it like it is.
I guess Wednesdays are pretty busy for me now.
Today I didn't eat any real food until about 6:30 at night. Smart, but not really. I saw a really pretty girl. I got the impulse multiple times to throttle a kid. I went to a history review with my favorite history teacher, Mr. Newman. I did my radio show. I watched my friends play lacrosse. I froze my hands and toes to the point of no circulation while I watched my friends. I ran around the track at a very high rate of speed. I found out that Maren can look amazing even after she has played an entire game of lacrosse in high speed winds. I defrosted my toes. I went to the Mr. Viking pageant. I lost my voice. I wanted to throttle that kid again. I also wanted to spend my entire day talking to that girl. I watched Psych. I ate some chicken. I still want to kill that kid and talk to that girl. I probably won't do the prior (ever).
Oh and can I say Wen-di Adair is just the best? She really is pretty dang great.
That was my day. I doubt your day was as eventful. If it was, I am sorry. It kind of sucks.

Also, I drew this.