Senior Picture Story Time!

This morning I went to the temple. I was so happy. I called the post office. 

This is how I felt after:

My mission call was not at the post office.

I just wanted to run away Forrest Gump style.

I was really sad and I even went a little crazy trying to track it down.

I could not get it Thursday, because that meant I would have to wait until Saturday before my two Utah brothers could both be there. And that was not something I wanted to happen.

So I called the post office. Or five post offices.

My dad got involved and via text he informed me that I would not be able to get it. However, my brother rearranged his schedule so he could be down Thursday. No conflict. 

I was like:

 I'm not even nervous.

I don't care when I go.

 I don't care when I go.

There is a place out there that is waiting for the next and final Elder Duclos (of this generation). 

I'm just ready to go.

That's the story.

Photo credit: Nicole Tucker

Motivation

Suddenly I feel so motivated to practice on the punching bag I have down stairs.

I thought it was bad before

You know that anticipating feeling you (used to) get on Christmas Eve? Or that feeling when you are trying to fall asleep the night before a really exciting day?

Those are nothing compared to the anticipation when your mission papers are at the church headquarters and your call still hasn't been issued.




Aaaaaaah.

I am not an angry person

As my scout leader once said, I have a long fuse and, when it gets to the end, there is not much of an explosion. I don't feel too angry most of the time. But there is one thing that people do that infuriates me. I hate hypocrisy. So much. I just can't stand it. It hurts me to see guys who I know are not trying get away with it. When a guy acts immoral and a girl still likes him, he knows he can get away with it, if he hides it enough. I see guys talking to really strong LDS girls, making the girls think they are living the gospel, but then I can't sit next to them for five minutes because of how they talk. It makes me seriously consider getting in a fight. They won't attack me personally, but they make me think of stuff like this:
 “They draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me..."
It makes me sad. Seriously, I can control my anger, but I think I have come closer to a full on fist fight over this than any other topic. So guys, stop being hypocrites. Girls, stop liking them. Seriously, you can't be falling for that crap. Wake up.



Sorry if this post seemed mean. It was. I am angry. Sorry, I try not to be, but it's better than beating up a stupid idiot who acts righteous just to kiss girls. I know I shouldn't judge others, but really, I am only human.

It'll work out

It always works out, no matter what you're going through. But just knowing that you will feel better soon won't make getting hit in the crotch hurt any less.

That moment

I like to say that I am always right. Because I am always right. I know when it won't work out and I know when it will. That's why the moment of heart break blindsided me. I was wrong. It sucks being wrong.

Just so y'all know

I am a catch. Let us be realistic in this scenario. I am all around a great guy.




So that's why all the girls like me (that bit was sarcastic (and also ironic, because one would assume that because I am so great, they would like me (which is also why I made sure you knew I was being sarcastic (which was definitely a necessity)))).

171 hours

Not much better than before. I'm doing the right thing, right?

It would help if it weren't impossible.

The Celibate Life

I spent two years, one month and eight days. I was invested in, let's say, stock. For 13.4% of my life and 76.2% of my high school career, I was invested. Granted, I was not fully invested, but it was at the lowest a 90% investment in this cause. I thought, you know, I will ride this to the end and by then, I will for sure have something to show. 

But as the days, weeks, months, and years passed, my confidence, like anyone's would, waned. The stock was not increasing. Like a lifeless body, the measurements were flatlined. No money gained. Today the stock market closed and although the stock was where it always was, when I got a special report, it felt it was at an all-time low.

So I am pulling out. One thing that I learned is that if something doesn't change for two years, one month and eight days, it probably will not. When the market opens next, let the record show that Wyatt Duclos is not and will not be invested anywhere. The stock market is not my place. I've tried and failed on the small scale, never at 90% or even 75% and not for so long. However, this was, as they say, the final nail in the coffin. Fully invested for two years and one month and eight days and all I have to show for it is what I put in.
Every shooting star. Every fallen eyelash. Every 11:11. All my wishes for the past two years, one month and 8 days was for the stock to go up. All my wishes were for her to like me back. Today is the day I realize that none of my wishes will ever come true. And that's what makes it so hard.

There you go. I, Wyatt Duclos, give up. Thank you, world, for teaching me the lesson that I can do all that is possible and nothing will happen. That works out great.

I don't understand

I am an easy going guy. I don't often dislike something. As of now, I have no enemies or anything. I have a couple things I don't like. Among those are two things: country music and non-Christian Christmas music from January to the day after Thanksgiving.

Apparently that is unacceptable. It's not that I try to impose my beliefs on the matter on the whole world. I just prefer that if someone is with me and they refuse to turn off that kind of music, I prefer not to listen. 

Apparently I am a jerk for that. Apparently just because I don't want to listen to that, I am the worst human being on the planet. I feel that I have a right to live my life how I want. It's not like I am killing people or something, but I feel so judged.

So I don't care anymore. Go ahead and hate me for it. It is my choice, and really it's not that horrible of a choice.

It gets worse.

You guys probably have figured out that I am a hopeless romantic. And it gets worse. I have liked a girl for two years. And it's getting worse. Everything she says, every picture I see, she gets better.  The more in love I become. The more evident my "hopeless" factor becomes. The worse it gets.

Come fly with me

It was the perfect two hours to end the perfect final summer. Next time I don't have school, I won't have to go back. I will not be a child. I will not be relaxed. Next summer summer turns into another season. It won't mean freedom. It won't represent a time where people can't oppress us. It will be the beginning of the rest of our lives. And I don't want it. I don't want this summer to end. Today was honestly the first full, real day of summer for me. Now it is over. And now I am two semesters away from never being a kid again. I don't want it. I want to be here forever.
I just realized why Wendy flew out of that window with Peter. She didn't want the magic to end. Now I wish I could fly away from adulthood forever. I could stand being a kid for the rest of eternity. I don't want to leave this sense of freedom behind. I want to be a kid and never an adult. But that won't happen, so here we go.

Tactics

I have always had a tactic when it comes to the girl I like. I never go in unaware of exactly how I act. And you know what? I sucked at every mark I tried. I have been working one mark for almost two years now and I just realized that I give up. I cannot succeed if I am trying. I mean, really. Two years. That is a long time without someone even giving you a backwards glance. I know this sounds dumb and frankly a little melodramatic, but I do not care. Because try as I might, my tactics have never succeeded. Believe it or not, I have seen one guy pull off the "nice guy" approach and a million guys get more results trying less in a year than I would in a single text message.
I do not quit often, but I also don't act senselessly. The worst part is that I don't even really want a girl to like me. I just want to be successful at being the type of guy a girl would like. Do you know what I realized? I suck at just that. Two years of cold, hard data backs me up that even when I am doing the best job possible, I can't even get the status of runner up.

To Hollywood.

I am not usually one to criticize films and especially the film industry. I do not expect perfection and therefore do not get disappointed. However, there is one reoccurring flaw in many films in almost every genre. The nerdy, different kid does not get the girl. I'm not saying that he doesn't get the head cheerleader that so often snags said character's heart for the first hour of the film. I mean the girl of quality. I have inadvertently studied this scenario for my entire life and one blatant truth never fails to rear its ugly head: the movies are lying. The nerdy guy doesn't get the girl in the beginning or even the girl in the end. What he gets is the friendship card stapled to his forehead.
Hollywood, I love you. I see your cinematographic splendor and your directing genius and I want nothing more to study you for days on end. If a veteran told you the war scenarios in your film were off, you'd listen because he is a professional. Well, this professional is saying that you guys really need to do some more research.
—W.R. Duclos

I don't need any comfort in the comments, I just needed to vent.

Paper for English

I really couldn't stand my English teacher. Or his writing prompts. Do animals feel pain? Yeah, I wasn't going to BS another paper. Here it is, unedited.

He is correct, I did not present a whole story. But I sure as heck made him look dumb.

Here comes the worst time of the year.

Remember me last year at this time? Yeah, I hate graduation. It makes me cry. I don't like crying, because all my friends laugh at me. Last year will be nothing compared to this year. I am going to cry so much. Just to let you know. At least it'll be the last graduation I cry at.

Near death and bird whispering

So after I went post happy Saturday, I went on a hike to my favorite area in the world, Indian Springs. Taft and I went up there. As we neared the spring, I noticed a rattler as big as my arm at its thickest point three feet from Taft and about a foot off the trail. Let us just say we booked it out of that area. So yeah, I came a foot away from almost certain death.
Today, I was trying to impress a girl (pretty far fetched, right?). Anyway, we started talking about the hummingbird feeder on my back porch. She was enthralled that the hummingbirds would stop flying to perch on the feeder. For some reason, this conversation reminded me of a story I was once told about my brother, Bob, and him holding a wild hummingbird. All I remember from the story is that he held his hand next to the feeder for a long time without moving and it landed on him. I hadn't much foresight as I said, "This will take a minute." I really didn't have any clue or even any hope that it would work. But sure enough, as the first hummingbird approached, it perched on my outstretched finger. I guess I am really impressive, but it really isn't a big deal. I didn't get a video and when I tried again for seven minutes while recording, I ended up with nothing. But I mean, ha. I am pretty proud of my ability to go headfirst into that. Good educated guess.
I will eventually continue writing the book that I am always thinking about on Friday. It just sucks because as the highest student in any of my teacher's English classes on the CRT (I aced it with 100%), it's hard to believe I have a C-. Actually it's not too hard when you know that my English teacher hates me. But we won't name names because I don't slander people.
School? Stupid. Next year will be better.
Also, this post has a lot of labels. It is just that everywhere.

First timer

For the first time in my life, while writing a paper, I cannot put down exactly what I am thinking. I mean seriously, I don't know what is wrong with me. It's like my mom not being able to cook amazing food or Shawn Spencer not being observant. It just doesn't, nor should not, happen. Weird.

Sometimes

Sometimes it really annoys me that I have to hide exactly how I feel. It kind of sucks. You haven't a clue.

I feel vague

Something about the last few posts makes me feel as though I am being extremely vague. So I am just going to say it like it is.
I guess Wednesdays are pretty busy for me now.
Today I didn't eat any real food until about 6:30 at night. Smart, but not really. I saw a really pretty girl. I got the impulse multiple times to throttle a kid. I went to a history review with my favorite history teacher, Mr. Newman. I did my radio show. I watched my friends play lacrosse. I froze my hands and toes to the point of no circulation while I watched my friends. I ran around the track at a very high rate of speed. I found out that Maren can look amazing even after she has played an entire game of lacrosse in high speed winds. I defrosted my toes. I went to the Mr. Viking pageant. I lost my voice. I wanted to throttle that kid again. I also wanted to spend my entire day talking to that girl. I watched Psych. I ate some chicken. I still want to kill that kid and talk to that girl. I probably won't do the prior (ever).
Oh and can I say Wen-di Adair is just the best? She really is pretty dang great.
That was my day. I doubt your day was as eventful. If it was, I am sorry. It kind of sucks.

Also, I drew this.