A message to girls

You don't have to be awkward around a guy just because you don't like him anymore. Because honestly, it just makes them sad.

Motivation

Suddenly I feel so motivated to practice on the punching bag I have down stairs.

171 hours

Not much better than before. I'm doing the right thing, right?

It would help if it weren't impossible.

The Celibate Life

I spent two years, one month and eight days. I was invested in, let's say, stock. For 13.4% of my life and 76.2% of my high school career, I was invested. Granted, I was not fully invested, but it was at the lowest a 90% investment in this cause. I thought, you know, I will ride this to the end and by then, I will for sure have something to show. 

But as the days, weeks, months, and years passed, my confidence, like anyone's would, waned. The stock was not increasing. Like a lifeless body, the measurements were flatlined. No money gained. Today the stock market closed and although the stock was where it always was, when I got a special report, it felt it was at an all-time low.

So I am pulling out. One thing that I learned is that if something doesn't change for two years, one month and eight days, it probably will not. When the market opens next, let the record show that Wyatt Duclos is not and will not be invested anywhere. The stock market is not my place. I've tried and failed on the small scale, never at 90% or even 75% and not for so long. However, this was, as they say, the final nail in the coffin. Fully invested for two years and one month and eight days and all I have to show for it is what I put in.
Every shooting star. Every fallen eyelash. Every 11:11. All my wishes for the past two years, one month and 8 days was for the stock to go up. All my wishes were for her to like me back. Today is the day I realize that none of my wishes will ever come true. And that's what makes it so hard.

There you go. I, Wyatt Duclos, give up. Thank you, world, for teaching me the lesson that I can do all that is possible and nothing will happen. That works out great.

They're coming out

I am getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow. I will prolly try to go to the football game after. People say I am crazy. I say I am dedicated.

Come fly with me

It was the perfect two hours to end the perfect final summer. Next time I don't have school, I won't have to go back. I will not be a child. I will not be relaxed. Next summer summer turns into another season. It won't mean freedom. It won't represent a time where people can't oppress us. It will be the beginning of the rest of our lives. And I don't want it. I don't want this summer to end. Today was honestly the first full, real day of summer for me. Now it is over. And now I am two semesters away from never being a kid again. I don't want it. I want to be here forever.
I just realized why Wendy flew out of that window with Peter. She didn't want the magic to end. Now I wish I could fly away from adulthood forever. I could stand being a kid for the rest of eternity. I don't want to leave this sense of freedom behind. I want to be a kid and never an adult. But that won't happen, so here we go.

Tactics

I have always had a tactic when it comes to the girl I like. I never go in unaware of exactly how I act. And you know what? I sucked at every mark I tried. I have been working one mark for almost two years now and I just realized that I give up. I cannot succeed if I am trying. I mean, really. Two years. That is a long time without someone even giving you a backwards glance. I know this sounds dumb and frankly a little melodramatic, but I do not care. Because try as I might, my tactics have never succeeded. Believe it or not, I have seen one guy pull off the "nice guy" approach and a million guys get more results trying less in a year than I would in a single text message.
I do not quit often, but I also don't act senselessly. The worst part is that I don't even really want a girl to like me. I just want to be successful at being the type of guy a girl would like. Do you know what I realized? I suck at just that. Two years of cold, hard data backs me up that even when I am doing the best job possible, I can't even get the status of runner up.

To Hollywood.

I am not usually one to criticize films and especially the film industry. I do not expect perfection and therefore do not get disappointed. However, there is one reoccurring flaw in many films in almost every genre. The nerdy, different kid does not get the girl. I'm not saying that he doesn't get the head cheerleader that so often snags said character's heart for the first hour of the film. I mean the girl of quality. I have inadvertently studied this scenario for my entire life and one blatant truth never fails to rear its ugly head: the movies are lying. The nerdy guy doesn't get the girl in the beginning or even the girl in the end. What he gets is the friendship card stapled to his forehead.
Hollywood, I love you. I see your cinematographic splendor and your directing genius and I want nothing more to study you for days on end. If a veteran told you the war scenarios in your film were off, you'd listen because he is a professional. Well, this professional is saying that you guys really need to do some more research.
—W.R. Duclos

I don't need any comfort in the comments, I just needed to vent.

Here comes the worst time of the year.

Remember me last year at this time? Yeah, I hate graduation. It makes me cry. I don't like crying, because all my friends laugh at me. Last year will be nothing compared to this year. I am going to cry so much. Just to let you know. At least it'll be the last graduation I cry at.

Suckishness

Sorry this has been the most boring blog in the freaking world lately. I have not really had the time to write that I wish I had. For example, on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I was gone for fourteen hours. WIth the exception of 9 hours last night, I got a total of 15 hours of sleep. I have had math up the wazoo and it kind of sucks.

But I have had some good stuff in my life. I had an undying hatred for someone at the beginning of the week who I now love (not that I trust him, you can love somebody and still not trust them).  I also have been rocking it at work and tore apart more computers in two hours on Tuesday than I usually did all day when I started working there.

I also took a math test on Friday that I felt went really well. It was fun. Ha. Just kidding. Math is never fun. I made doughnuts (I don't like the other spelling, "donuts") from scratch on Monday. Devil's Food Cake and they were delicious.

I watched the edited version of IMDB's #10 highest rated film, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I have yet to finish it, but I really like it. Great acting, great cinematography, and great directing. Jack Nicholson is a visionary with some of the scenes he made up. But don't watch it unedited. I could tell a lot of editing was done and I would not watch it if I did not have AMC's editing prowess backing me up.

I also went to Washington D.C. and Nashville, Tennessee last week for spring break. I ate so much food last Thursday and Friday, I almost exploded. Thursday night I had the bright idea to go running after eating beyond a normal person's capacity. I went into the hotel exercise room which had a whole wall with windows into the pool area, where there were a couple of teenagers.
After a quarter mile, I felt as though my everything was going to die, so I wisely stopped running as to avoid exploding ribs and smoked turkey onto the carpet. As I sat and composed my stomach, I realized that the teenagers had taken notice of me. But, the only thing they had seen was me running at a leisurely pace for a quarter mile that resting for a long time. Needless to say, I felt like a spaz. Then for a reason unknown to any scientific proofs or religious revelations or philosophical discoveries, one of the girls waved at me. I made sure she was waving at me (it had to be me because I was the only one it could've been), then awkwardly waved back. Cool story.

There is this girl I like who I haven't seen for a majority of the past two weeks because of vacations and stuff. She is just the best. This is going to sound super cliche, but she brings the best out of me. With her beautiful expressions (seriously, I have never seen anyone else who cannot contort their face into an ugly look, but regardless of what she does, her face is always beyond perfect), she really makes me want to be as perfect as she is. I am so grateful for my friendship with her and would not trade it for anything (except maybe a flying DeLorean with a flux capacitor). Seriously though, best person award goes to her.

This has been my life for the past two weeks. I have had a great time and a horrible time. I have wanted to sing, "Hallelujah," and I've wanted to shoot a burro. But all in all, I'd say it was a worthwhile time.

P.S. Also, I started a novel that I will be sharing soon.

You know, I complain very little here

I bet you like my blog a little. I do. I have stuff that I would like to put up here but don't for the simple fact that I don't want to bug you with whining.

• I could complain about girls (Because teenage girls always look so great but have so much drama. Kind of like a temperamental sportscar). Seriously, why do girls like jerks?
• I could complain about being the only one at home (Having your parents' undivided parenting attention on you is not fun).
• I could complain about girls that are hypocritical (The type that yell for hours after a sexist joke or if I (jokingly) say that girls are inferior to guys then think it is perfectly alright to use the "I'm a girl," card to get what they want). I hate, hate hypocrisy beyond belief. St. Mark 11, for those of you who want to know how Jesus felt on the subject.
• I could complain about my lack of a car.

But in reality, I won't. Because you don't want to know that I am human. My blog is funny or spiritual or nerdy, so drama isn't what I want to make the main subject. Just know I do have normal person feelings. Don't feel obligated to comment to make me feel better because I am fine. Sorry I just barfed emotion. I feel better now.

If you had a pig nose, I'd hate you

There is a really horrible movie called Penelope. I hate it because it was a horrible movie. Flat out. I did not have a good night last night. It started with me hoping a certain girl would be at the PG varsity basketball game. One tragic defeat to the gay pioneers (gay because they are purple) and a migraine later, I was let with nothing but disappointment. Cue horrible movie.
I went to Carley Sturgis' house to watch Disturbia. The funny thing about wanting to watch a movie is that it is almost impossible to do so without a copy of it. Without a copy of Disturbia, I was hoping that we could watch the amazing football film, Rudy. We decided to leave the suspense and action genre to a much more, I'd say, crappy genre: romance. My migraine hated it more than the rest of me and told me by hurting even more.
Here is something that I found out when I am forced to watch a film that I am not interested in while having a migraine: I get very sarcastic and find joy in angering people. I entertained myself with the reactions to: pig noises, fake excitement at an especially cheesy (or as the other viewers would say, "romantic") scene, and multiple comments about the predictability and stupidity of the film. Remember that although I was being a jerk, I was in a load of pain.
So that is how my night went. If you are jealous it is only because you were in a car crash which resulted in you getting every appendage and the loss of feeling and nerve function in all of you, because I am pretty sure that that would be the only thing worse.


My head hurt really badly.

Work? Work is fun.

I work at a place called tamsolutions. I started working there back when Brock worked there and stopped working there at the beginning of the school year, with a few hundred dollars stuck in the bank. That money ran out last month. So back to work I go.
The money I am currently earning in going towards Sweethearts. I am very happy working. I come home with a grey shirt that started out as white. My snot is grey for days afterward (sorry, TMI). My head aches right now and it may be from the dust (it may also be because I've been awake since 4:00 this morning). I am so excited for certain activities that I am working for. It will just be the best.

Samwise Gamgee

Have you ever titled something with the intentions of writing basically anything but what the title implies? I have just done so.

Today I got home from school planning on finishing my math and English assignments and then going to see a cool kid open his mission call across the street. Eureka took mind and I would achieve almost everything but that. I ate two breakfast sandwiches and watched two episodes of what is beginning to be one of my favorite shows. As I started the third episode, I promptly fell asleep. I am really good at not doing homework. It takes a lot of work for a person to get this far in their education and still maintain a serious lack of homework done.

Another thing. Tuesday my ratio of sleep to awake was 1:5. It ain't very fun. Don't try it. Take my word for it. Yesterday I was running of a total of nine hours from the last two nights combined. Seriously I must be doing something wrong.

In less than twenty-four hours my entire life will be about 9! times simpler. Maybe even 10! times. I really hate school. I don't think they really care about us. I love people though. Thanks for reading my blog. I appreciate the support and feedback I get. Maybe someday someone will give me money to do this.

Stay Up Late Writing

A stupid paper about a stupid lie for a stupid class that has a stupid teacher and then have the stupid printer break. Then you might feel the way I feel right now. I guess those other three assignments would've been worth tackling before the stupid five page paper. Stupid.

Hundredth

It's days like today where I miss having a best friend.

 I look at this picture and imagine what happened 16 years, 9 months and 9 days ago. I imagine that what is happening now is very similar to the day I was born. My older brother was there, waiting for his little brother. Two and a half year old Brock waiting for his new best friend for life, not knowing what was to come. Not knowing the fights to come. Not knowing the happiness to come. Not knowing the love that would be shared. He didn't care that I was annoying or smelly, he loved me regardless. All he knew was Wyatt was coming. 

He loved me. He is my brother, so he has to. I miss him. He was the one that wanted his baby brother so badly he couldn't even take his hand away for a picture. He loves me. I miss my brother. 

He is out having the "best two years" and I can't help but be jealous. He is doing what we wanted to do ever since Nick came home and held us in our Hot Wheels pajamas. He is doing the Lord's work, and I wish I was, too. I miss him. 

My older brother, Jesus Christ, is there, waiting for his baby brother. He doesn't care if I am annoying or if I'm popular. He knows all love. He welcomes me with open arms and He loves me. He is helping Brock in the mission field and He will soon help me. I know my Savior lives. He loves me unconditionally, even if I were the worst person in the world. He is my older brother, so He shows me how much He loves me. I love Him. I miss Him. I miss Brock. I know He lives and I know Brock loves me, too. Don't ever forget the Savior, because He never forgets you.

For Steve

Most of you don't know this. Some of you won't care. Deal with it. Today, Steve Jobs passed away. It is a very sad day, indeed. He was one of the founders of Apple and he revolutionized the world of technology. He was smart and nice and he had a voice that I loved to hear, because I knew it meant a new Apple gadget. Steve was noble. As CEO, his salary was $1 a year. He was on the board of directors for Pixar and Disney and was known as the Thomas Edison of his time. He will be missed. He was a great man.

Unholy War

"...There is no better laboratory to observe the sin of pride than the world of sports. I have always loved participating in and attending sporting events. But I confess there are times when the lack of civility in sports is embarrassing. How is it that normally kind and compassionate human beings can be so intolerant and filled with hatred toward an opposing team and its fans?

"I have watched sports fans vilify and demonize their rivals. They look for any flaw and magnify it. They justify their hatred with broad generalizations and apply them to everyone associated with the other team. When ill fortune afflicts their rival, they rejoice.

"Brethren, unfortunately we see today too often the same kind of attitude and behavior spill over into the public discourse of politics, ethnicity, and religion.

"My dear brethren of the priesthood, my beloved fellow disciples of the gentle Christ, should we not hold ourselves to a higher standard? As priesthood bearers, we must realize that all of God’s children wear the same jersey. Our team is the brotherhood of man. This mortal life is our playing field. Our goal is to learn to love God and to extend that same love toward our fellowman. We are here to live according to His law and establish the kingdom of God. We are here to build, uplift, treat fairly, and encourage all of Heavenly Father’s children."

Pride and the Priesthood

DIETER F. UCHTDORF

Can I tell you how much I love President Uchtdorf? He has put in words what makes me sick to my stomach: the hate. I cannot understand why people hate me simply because I support the U of U. It frustrates me when people try to tell me that my school sucks and I should be a BYU fan. It frustrates me when my brother says he would rather die than go to BYU. What President Uchtdorf has said is the truth. I support him with all my heart and with all the conviction I can muster. Is football really what you should be worrying about, when there are thousands of people living without the gospel? Stop arguing and start loving. It is not worth it.

My best friend and hero, Brock Duclos.

A large number of my friends that currently go to BYU.

Two of my best friends. BYU and Utah.

Growing Up

There are very few things that upset me. I quote my friend and scout leader, Corry Cloward, "Wyatt, you have a very long fuse and when it reaches the end, there is not much of an explosion." One thing that upsets me is senseless action, doing something for no reason. A thing that I despise is senseless emotion, feeling a certain way about someone without reason or because of outdated reasons. There are two people in particular (I am very tempted to tell you their names, but I will not) that seem to hate me senselessly. Here is some background:

Person number one is a girl I have known for a while. She and I used to play together when we were little. She is the only girl I'm her family and got anything she wanted. I was the youngest of six boys and the opposite was true of me. She would try to make me do what she wanted and, when I wouldn't conform to her will, she disliked me. Fair enough, for a five year old brat. Now she is almost fifteen and treats me like my scout crew treated the giant spiders in the last post: so disgusted that the only thing you can do is pretend to not see them until you are forced to pay attention enough to smash them. She despises me. She let things that happened almost ten years ago rule her way of thinking and it makes me sad. I wish I knew the friendship that could've developed, if not in past years than more recently. Sure I could've been more Christ-like when I was seven, but I was seven.

Person number two hates me. He tries to run my life and hates almost every decision I make. Some days he pushes me too far. The other day I wrote this:

"[He] has driven me almost to the point of hate. He is so quick to judge me, tries to run my life and is altogether a complete and total jerk to me. I don't understand his logic. I really do try with him. I don't yell at him, I take his taunts and his putdowns without a word against him and I try to forget about what he does to me. It does not work. I could have all the patience in the world and [he] would still wear it down. My only hope is that someday he will actually treat me with human decency." 

I have been thinking about these two people more and more over the past week or so. They are not the first people to hate me or will the be the last. I have had some of my current friends hate me, but I was able to turn them from enemy to friend without too much trouble. I cannot figure out what to do with these two, though. I almost never give up on people, so the thought of not trying to be friends with them seems un-Christ-like to me. But there is nothing active I can do. My mindset now is if I try to be their friend, they will like me. I need to think more along the lines of, "If I continue being as kind as possible to them, I will have no fault. They will be the ones suffering and I will be fine." I love them and want to be their friends, so all I can do is just that: be their friends.

So I guess this is what growing up feels like, eh? It is not as painful as I imagined.

Why I will never complain about sunburns.

For those of you who are squeamish, do not view this post.

Like seriously. I was crying during Strawberry Days. It was really bad. How bad? You may ask. Well second degree bad (which, if you continue, you will see causes blisters). Wear sunscreen, kids.

And that is why I can stand a tiny bit of red skin.