The best gift.

So I have been going through a lot internally. I could explain, but I already did in a letter. You'll understand why when you read the letter, but for the moment just know I was feeling like I needed one person: my brother, Brock. He was the only one I could talk to. But because he had a bunch of mission stuff on the Monday before Christmas (Christmas Eve) when his P-Day usually is, he told us he couldn't email. But I didn't care. On Saturday I just needed to vent my emotions to my best friend. So I did. I even put the subject of the email as, "I know we'll talk before you read this." So here is my letter, unedited and completely and totally personal. Please know I put this here only so you know how powerful the results were.

My Best Bud-

I just need to talk to you. I really miss you right now. I always miss you, but where you would be Trevor or someone else takes your place, but there are some places where only you fit. Like right now. It's Christmas time. Everyone has their family. I mean everyone. Trevor has his family. Bob has his. Nick has his. Nicole Tucker (who I am best friends with) has hers. The Popes and Pixtons and Haws' have theres. And to some extent Mom and Dad have their own thing happening, just the two of them. That's why you are so important. Because you are me plus two years. When the married people started talking about pregnancy, we went to play pool. When everyone had their family Christmas parties, we watched Jingle All the Way together (which I watched last night, alone). You are the one that keeps me from not being alone. And a Christmas like I'm reminiscing about may never happen again. This my last Christmas home and if I had one hesitation about not going on a mission ASAP, it would be wanting to spend one more Christmas with you while we are both wife-free. I need you. I love you. You are my best friend, better than all 6.9 billion other people. I'm glad I followed you, even though it felt sometimes like I was in your shadow. You are awesome. I love you. Merry Christmas. Just know that no one misses you more than me. I guarantee. Because no one else needs you with them more than me. 

-Your Best Bud

Tomorrow is Christmas. We are going to talk on the phone. I knew what was going to happen. But Saturday night I prayed. I really prayed. I asked Heavenly Father for a confirmation. See, I could leave before Brock gets back. I have always felt like an afterthought in his weekly emails. I needed to talk to him when it was just us. All I wanted was one, meaningful exchange with him before I left on my mission. That is what I prayed for; that was what I wanted. And I got it. Heavenly Father is the best at giving and, boy, is he the best at surprising us. After pulling an all-nighter with my friends, I woke up after a two hour nap to the best Christmas gift ever. What was it, you ask? Well here it is.

Hey mate, 

Turns out we got to do email today but we don't have a lot of time. You get the privilege of receiving my only email of the day!!

You know what helped me this Christmas? Elder Holland has an article in the Ensign (or New Era, I read it in the Liahona) that talks about his first Christmas away from home. It was when he was a new missionary, training a newer missionary and opening a new area. They spent the whole day the whole week actually, knocking on doors without anyone listening to them (as great as the mission is, those days happen and they are rough). But he said that was the first Christmas that he really focused on what it meant instead of focusing on just enjoying it. There is a lot of wisdom in his words. 

I love you and I'm glad you miss me. I miss you too. I am so excited for what you're going to learn on your mission. You'll grow in a way you'll never expect. Like it says in Ether 12:27, when you're out on your mission, you're going to be shown your weaknesses more than ever, believe me. But they'll be turned into strengths. You'll have a mission president that loves you and is inspired by Heavenly Father to help you become who you need to be. That relationship is so special. 

I pray for you because I know you are at a really fun, but really hard part of your life right now. And I am proud of you. I tell everyone that I have five brothers, four that served missions, and one that is on his way. One of the things I've learned is that I never have to wait to be happy. I can find the good in everything and enjoy life wherever I am. You are a good kid, and I'm excited to see you. 

I love you,

Elder Duclos

I'm sure he doesn't know how much his email meant or how much it made me cry. But Heavenly Father loves me so much. So much that he would give me a meaningful, personal conversation with my best bud. I know that He knows me personally. This Christmas is the best one I've ever had. Because even though I am kind of a loner, I am never alone. I have my Heavenly Father there, making sure I am happy. What else could I ask for?

T Minus 631 (Approx.) Days and Counting

I wrote my brother a letter today. It is a bit personal, but so is everything I write.

Joseph- 

Today was the last day of school. Today I finished getting all my stuff into your old room. Today marks one hundred days. My tears blurred my eyes as I pulled away from the curb of the MTC without my best friend. This is the most time we've spent apart. I am listening to the Past and Pending and I am missing you. You are such a great example to me. You really don't realize how jealous I am. You probably do. You are one of the main reasons why I so diligently study my scriptures. I remember you would study for what felt like eternity while I just sat on the couch in your room. Because of this and many other things, I would like to give you my real Christmas present right now.  

I know that Jesus Christ is our older brother who loves us more than I love you, which seems so unfathomable. He loves me for the person I am and would love me even if I hated him. His love is unconditional. He loves me even if I fumble with my words or act like an idiot. He atoned for my sins because of His undying love. He suffered more pain than any man can endure because He loves us. 

We are a chosen people, you and I. We were born in a time where the righteous were nearing perfection and the wicked couldn't get worse. It was no coincidence we were born in this time. It was no coincidence we were born into the church. It certainly was no coincidence that we are brothers. The Lord chose us because we were valiant. We stood by Him as probably some of our best friends walked the other way. It was hard. I could never imagine seeing someone I love as much as you leave the Lord because it would be too hard. But we stood strong. We knew that we were in the right. So the Lord blessed us. He blessed us because he knew that if we, the valiant people of His cause, had the gospel in our loves, there would be no power in the 'verse that could stop us from sharing it. We are chosen because we are needed. 

The people in Puerto Rico knew in the premortal life that you would be coming, so they worried very little about not starting out with the gospel. You are a man who stands on the rock of Christ in the flood of sin and you pull people to shore. You are the missionary the Lord talks about in D&C 4. You are my brother and I want you to know that when I say you are my best friend and hero, this is why. Nothing else matters because you have a testimony of the Savior. Any trial that arises in the field won't last long because you are an example of the believers. You are my best friend and you make my testimony grow. I can tell in your letters that home is already a nuisance. I can tell that, more than anything, you want to be out in the 80° December weather preaching His gospel. I love you. Thank you for everything. 

Have a good Christmas, mate. 

-Hyrum

Thanksgiving

Sorry, I have been super busy. I really started writing this the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Here is my gratitude in a post.
Well. Thanksgiving. One of the best, most overshadowed holidays ever. Christmas really has a knack for oozing all over November, doesn't it? But because of the beautiful day of thanks, I would like to share with you what I am grateful for.
Things

• These probably sound really materialistic, but I don't care.
• My iPhone. Anyone who has spent ten minutes with me knows I use it more than a high school girl doesn't eat lunch. I really do love it (in a non-addiction way).
• My bed. I can lay in there and fall asleep in less than a minute (which is not a good thing after I turn off my alarm). I almost never want to leave it.
• My glasses. I deserve bad eyes because for the first eleven years of my life, I wanted glasses. I thought I looked good with them. They really help me see and I don't look half bad.
• My gospel library. With the combined power of the standard works, Preach My Gospel and lots of other manuals, I can study any subject. I really love spending that half hour every night set aside to study. I always get something out of it.
• Books. I can never get enough reading material.
• Trees. I wish I had had a tree house because I love trees.
• Water. I can't live three days without the stuff.

Places

• My room. I sleep in it. I study in it. That's why I love it.
• My house (especially when I'm alone). Their is a level of comfort in one's home that is unobtainable for any other place.
• The KPGR radio room. I love being on the radio. Really, it is so much fun. I can forget the stupidity of the world and just enjoy myself. I love it.
• Indian Springs. You know how every person has one place that isn't a part of the rest of the world? That is how I feel about Indian Springs. It is one of the most relaxing places in the world.
• The temple. If you don't know why I love this place, you haven't been there.
• My desk. I really only study my scriptures there and type letters. I think I have had more personal revelation there than anywhere else in the world.

People

• My parents. They care for me and they forget that they don't have a choice in my missionary plans (they want me to stay home and be with them instead of leaving). They are so good to me.
• Trevor Ward. I have talked about him a few times. I haven't even scratched the surface of the man I care about. He is one of the best friends I have ever had. He is a great guy.
• Kassie Hamilton. She is a great artist and song writer and sometimes I think that she doesn't know how much I care about her. She is like the sister I never had. She is kind to everyone, even the ones I know she wants to punch in the face (which is me, some of the times).
• Brock Duclos. I miss him so much and he really shows how a missionary should be. He is great.
• Russell Mayo. He is a teacher at PGHS. He teaches Radio. He changed my life. He is one of the nicest, most selfless people I've met and I am happy he teaches at my school.
• Delanie Doyle. She seems to be one person who always is nice to me, even when I shove her into a brick wall, or embarrass her in front of everyone, or any of the other things she accuses me of doing(long stories for all of those). She is a great example of love.
• Brennan Burnett. He and I share a radio show on KPGR 88.1 FM Wednesdays 3:30-4:30. Although we don't always see eye to eye, our show is one thing I always look forward to.
• You. I love people who read my blog and give me feedback. It is what I want to do for my career, so please feel free to read and love.
• I really appreciate so many people, it would be hard to write about them all. So if their is someone not on this list that I know, chances are I am grateful for them.

That is just a fragment of what I am grateful for. Please, think of what you are grateful for every day of every year. It makes all the difference in the world.

I think I will be posting more tonight after I post this. I really want to write more, I just haven't the time.

Teaching Assistant

I am a teaching assistant for one of my favorite teachers, Mrs. Gallagher. I TA during A3, which is a sophomore English class. It is supposed to be Honors, but these kids are as dumb as dirt. I am pretty sure that at least two of the students hate me because I caught them cheating my first day on the job. It is not really my fault, though. They were being so obvious about it! I couldn't believe they were surprised I caught them.
Also some kids are in this class who I know, like Kassie Hamilton, or that one girl with the ridiculous name, or Brittney McArthur or Micaela Doyle. Happy birthday to her sister, Delanie. I hate school. I wish all the teachers had sense like Mrs. Gallagher or Mr. Dalton or Van Dijk.
I wish I had a better class to TA for. If they are reading this, they should really be not creeping. I miss my brother (surprise there). Have a good week.

Bucket List: Almost

I got close. Really, really close. I didn't go on a date with that girl. I still haven't. I really wish I could soon, but I don't think it is going to happen during my high school career. ******Update****** I did get a chance to go on a date with that girl. May I say that it was fanTAStic? I stayed in Utah all summer. I just never got the chance to not be here. I almost slept a whole night outside, but I went inside because my bed sucked and I had no heat. I didn't ride in Mr. Miyagi's Camaro, but I will sometime. I didn't even watch War of the Buttons with someone, let alone have people share it. I did not play baseball. That is something I want to do soon.

• Go on a date at least once every 2 weeks (on average).
• Get Hannah Schill to talk to me again.
• Go on a date with that girl.
• Sleep in past noon.
• Go to the Strawberry Days Rodeo.
• Eat Strawberries and Cream.
• Go to Scout Camp.
• Be in the Strawberry Days Parade.
• Be a Viking.
• Quit my job.
• Start working at tamsolutions.
• Read the Shadow Saga.
• Read Preach My Gospel 3 times.
• Leave Utah for a trip.
• Sleep outside on not a campout for a full night.
• See Harry Potter 7.5.
• Go to the The Decemberists concert.
• Go to the Fleet Foxes concert.
• Go to the Farmer's Market in SLC.
• Play a good game of five card stud (betting with candy, of course).
• Ride in my neighbor's Camaro.
• Make people aware of the film War of the Buttons, aka one of the best films of all time.
• Do a backflip.
• Go on the natural water slide in Alpine.
• Go scuba diving with mi madre y hermano.
• Watch all the Star Wars films.
• See X-Men: First Class.
• See Thor.
• Read To Kill a Mockingbird at least twice.
• Play baseball.

Hundredth

It's days like today where I miss having a best friend.

 I look at this picture and imagine what happened 16 years, 9 months and 9 days ago. I imagine that what is happening now is very similar to the day I was born. My older brother was there, waiting for his little brother. Two and a half year old Brock waiting for his new best friend for life, not knowing what was to come. Not knowing the fights to come. Not knowing the happiness to come. Not knowing the love that would be shared. He didn't care that I was annoying or smelly, he loved me regardless. All he knew was Wyatt was coming. 

He loved me. He is my brother, so he has to. I miss him. He was the one that wanted his baby brother so badly he couldn't even take his hand away for a picture. He loves me. I miss my brother. 

He is out having the "best two years" and I can't help but be jealous. He is doing what we wanted to do ever since Nick came home and held us in our Hot Wheels pajamas. He is doing the Lord's work, and I wish I was, too. I miss him. 

My older brother, Jesus Christ, is there, waiting for his baby brother. He doesn't care if I am annoying or if I'm popular. He knows all love. He welcomes me with open arms and He loves me. He is helping Brock in the mission field and He will soon help me. I know my Savior lives. He loves me unconditionally, even if I were the worst person in the world. He is my older brother, so He shows me how much He loves me. I love Him. I miss Him. I miss Brock. I know He lives and I know Brock loves me, too. Don't ever forget the Savior, because He never forgets you.

You're your mom's favorite!

Because all I that is happening in my life is school, I decided to share some of my favorite things. Here you go:

My favorite smell is Barnes and Noble. I love the smell of books. I could literally live in the Orem B&N. I can't get enough.

My favorite color is red. I love the power that it has. I'm not a Nazi. Or a communist.

My favorite day of the week is Sunday. I can always look forward to it as a day where I can relax (even though I end up doing more church stuff than I intended, which results in me being in my suit for eight hours straight).

My favorite TV show is Psych. It is so choice. Just to let you know, I watched about 4 hours of it yesterday, then Keven Carlson and I made Psych shirts. He kept telling me I was acting like Shawn.
My favorite things to do are writing and hiking. I could really hike for years and write longer. If it weren't for school and other responsibilities, that is all I would do.

My favorite place to be is in the mountains. I totally understand why prophets of old used mountains as temples. Going into the mountain wilderness is a sure way of feeling the spirit.

My favorite feeling is accomplishment. I love finishing a school assignment or a project I'm working on and having that feeling of relieve and happiness.

My favorite book in the standard works is the Doctrine and Covenants. I love learning the gospel and reading about Joseph Smith and other modern day prophets. I love so many scriptures in D&C.

My favorite thought is thinking about my future wife. She is somewhere right now, having all the guys hit on her (because she is obviously amazingly beautiful). I love thinking about where she is on her journey and I love being worried about how she is doing. She better stay on the straight and narrow. I love her so much.

My favorite food is meat. One time at scout camp, Taft and I went to get meat with our leaders and we saw George Lucas there. True story.

Basically my favorite animal is a liger.

My favorite film and novel are non-existent because I love too many to choose.

My favorite time of year is the end of the school year. You don't  realize how stifled you are until you get out.

My favorite thing ever is the gospel of Jesus Christ. I think that if you aren't Mormon, you should read this.

My heroes are my brothers and my father. All of them have gone on missions, which doesn't happen often. I hope someday I can be as great of men as they are.

So there is a butt load of information about me. If you have any questions, deal with it. Haha, I'm joking. Ask already.

Random Access Memory

Backup of first week if junior year.

Inside my brain for Tuesday, August 23, 2011.

4:20 AM

It's way too early. The temple is worth it.

5:10 AM

Josh Brown is a real stud.

6:00 AM

I hate seeing pretty girls at the temple because I can't talk to them.

7:15 AM

Why am I at Kneader's? This is such a girl place.

7:20 AM

Chabata bread is really good. I'm glad I can chew without my jaw popping. This food was overpriced.

7:30 AM

Wait school starts at 7:45?

7:45 AM

Does the five minute bell start now or end now? Where the heck is Ceramics?

7:46 AM

Why did I take Ceramics?

7:47 AM-2:15 PM

School wasn't the best choice this year. I should gone to college with my friends.

2:34 PM

Did an episode of Doctor Who get recorded?

The rest of the week was very similar. I don't enjoy school.

Here are a few things that I have been thinking about for the past week:

I really enjoy sleeping past 7:00.

Enough said.

I need to get out of Physics.

Ms. Layosa is the reason guys are afraid of girls. What if they are actually like her? She just couldn't replace Van Dijk.

What if the PE class I signed up for is actually a girls class?

Legitimate concern. Turns out it's a CO ED class. Close call.

Why do I have a locker in Zimbabwe?

My locker location sucks. Out by the C-Gym is never convenient.

You often see more flaws in yourself while others see more strengths. While both are skewed, together they make up who you really are.

I found this out while watching my friend play football.

Getting recognition is really great.

I am glad the girl I chose to ask to Homecoming is so terrific.

See future post titled Homecoming 2011. Just to let you know, her name is Alese Norton. Some relation to Sam. Surprising?

My eighth grade self would be freaking out right now.

I have two classes with a girl I had a crush on in 8th grade. It isn't as great as I had imagined.

She is really awesome.

I think this about every five steps during lunch. PGHS has some great young women.

Can you be in Sam Norton's family without being perfect?

If you know a Norton, you know exactly what I mean. If you don't, the only way you'll understand how great they is to meet them. They are sooooo nice and have such strong testimonies. I bet their parents are as proud as punch (that's a saying, isn't it?). To see more about Sam, keep reading.

Glasses are always good.

I didn't wear my glasses to school Friday. It isn't fun.

I have suspenders and a typewriter. I have it made in the shade.

Mr. Palmer has a very sleep inducingly melodious voice. With limits, of course.

I almost fell asleep once and fully passed out with exhaustion another time. He likes sleepers, I guess (I wrote that at 1:30 in the morning, don't judge me).

Justice League of PG.

I am going to start a club with this title. I call Superman.

Do people realize how grateful I am for them?

I want people to know how much I appreciate them, because it feels good getting recognition. That is why I started project: Letters. If you don't understand, you will soon enough.

I think I could be student body president.

I know a lot of people and apparently at PGHS, I'm famous. I have big shoes to fill, if I were to follow Nate Church. Luckily I wear size 12. But really many people told me to run. It sounds pretty enticing.

How will I survive this year?

I lost my senior friends. Brock, a constant in my life since birth is leaving. I am taking super hard classes. The girl of my dreams is just out of reach. It will be hard, but the Lord will help when he can.

Friends

Samantha Carter.

Here is a great example of why I gave Lindoners a fighting chance. She is terrific! She is always happy to see me and she has tried to kiss me twice. She helps me know I am wanted.

Samuel Norton.

Once upon a morning side a member of our stake presidency said he knew one person who was always Christ-like. Sam is that person. He should've been translated years ago. He is my friend even though he doesn't have to do so. He is never negative and never have I heard of someone disliking him. He is a great guy and a great role model.

Katie Clark.

She plays basketball and she is real swell. She was the first girl ever to tell me she had a crush on me. She soon realized the errors of her ways, stopped liking me and we've been friends ever since.

Marissa Smith

She may be one of the people I miss the most. She is extremely beautiful and has such a strong spirit with her. I loved seeing her at school and I miss her. She likes me (I don't know why) and we are great friends. She is a terrific actress. Soon she will be on Broadway co-starring with Daniel Radcliffe.

Trevor Ward.

This kid is a stud. Last time I checked, every single girl should be hoping to date him. He is funny and smart and has girl handwriting. How much better can you get? He is my best friend and we can talk about anything. He is awesome.






I really appreciate those of you who read my blog. It is always great to have a place to write down how I feel. I also like when people say I am funny. I am glad you think I am funny and not crazy.

Goodbye, eh.

I have nineteen days with my best buddy in the whole world. Sure we fight and yell at each other, but we are the best of friends. I love Brock and I feel like Doug McKenzie when he leaves Bob. It will be tough. We didn't even get to electrocute each other at the looney bin.

Oh Brother of Mine

Once, back when he played Tee-ball, he let me run the bases with him.

I have five older brothers. I've lived with them from 3 years to 16 years. The age gap goes from 30 (Nick) to 16 (me). My next oldest brother, Brock, is my best friend in the world. He and I are two and a half years apart. He was three grades older than me. Until he went to scout camp for the first time, we had seen each other every day of my life. He and I have many stories together and I love him so much.

All the brothers: (left to right) Nick, Bob, Cory, Kendall and Brock and I are on the floor.

In 36 days, my brother, Brock, will be leaving for two years. He is going to go spread the gospel in Puerto Rico. I will miss him.

As our time together grows to a close, I think of what we have done together:

• The hours of watching The Last Airbender and asking, "Did Jet just…die?"

We grew a watermelon.

• Talking about my "one job" (opening and closing the sunroof whenever we go somewhere).

Us with our oldest niece, Noel.

• Watching Get Smart (the television show) and busting a gut laughing.

• Thanking the guy at Subzero whenever he flips smoke at us.

Awkward picture with Kendall's ex.

• Shooting pool and listening to The Shins.

• Playing ping pong "like Leave It to Beaver."

Picking up Cory from the airport.

• Following the "I cook, you clean" method for Top Ramen, popcorn, and any other food.

• Quoting "To Kill a Mockingbird".

Dropping him off.

• Discussing the gospel.

• Going to the DI and then getting lunch specials.

Shopping at the DI.

• Playing Frogger in the front room (with Evan Kirby's help).

• Sorting Halloween candy and trying to keep our mom from seeing the gum we got.

• Being a nickname duo (Black and White, Brock and Roll and Wyatt the Quiet Riot, Broccoli and Stink Cheese (I was the Stink Cheese), etc.).

In Disneyland with the Robinson Family and the Busby Family (Taft is so fat!).

• Watching Psych and fist bumping.

• Selling popsicles in the summer and him sending me out to "advertise" (I would walk around the block barking like I was on a board walk while he manned the station). I wasn't allowed to eat "the profits".

I really didn't want to get into my suit again.

• Being creeped out by basically anything related to Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask.

• Being confused by random things our dad texts us.

Chilling at Bob's wedding.

• The time I crashed into a car and was rushed to the ER, he rode with me to the hospital and brought the teeth that got knocked out in a cup of milk.

He leaves too soon. I love my brother, but I'm afraid among all these great memories, there is way too much fighting. I regret the lack of love I showed over the years. I love him so much and I know he will be great on in the mission field. There is pain and joy in the past, but there is much hope for the future.