Success.

I am sorry if I have seemed dramatic the past few posts. I figured whoever was commenting was joking, but I don't condone cyber bullying in any way. Having been someone that jokes (more than I am serious, for that matter), I have been the accidental bully myself. I am not that self conscious, but because I figured I would never get the chance to discuss the topic with the anonymous blogger, I figured posting that would show what I had to learn the hard way.

This fits with anyone and any form of joking. You don't know who is vulnerable, even if you think you do. I am fine, but I have struggled with my self image and this did make me feel bad a little. Just remember, the world is a hard place. You can make it easier for everyone by being a friend always.

I don't like tooting my own horn, but someone shared this story with me that made me realize even more how true this is.

Once I was at a party where I didn't know anyone but the host. It was an awkward situation. And, needless to say, I was kinda uncomfortable. But I remember this hilarious guy over in the corner. He was pretty attractive, I must say. I watched him from afar. The way an awkward outsider who frequently creeps on other people's conversations does. This guy was downright hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing at his witty remarks. And then, a little bit later, that gentleman introduced himself and was kind to me the whole night. He was one of those rare hilarious gents who has his head on straight. One that everyone admires and some fools show that as envy. One that makes you laugh till your sides split, but knows when it's right to joke, and when it's good to be serious. He made my night. He involved me in conversations when I was an outsider.

I honestly have no memory of this occurrence, which helps. You literally have no idea when you will have the opportunity to be someone's best friend, even just for a night. You have the power to make someone worse, but you have more power to make them better.

How's that for a lesson learned through deception and trickery? Really though, sorry for the mislead (even though I did start out that post saying, "I am a liar. I lie a ton."). I thought this ended better than I was planning. Also, a side lesson for you: Don't tangle with Wyatt Duclos via written word, because he is like the Superman of the English language.

Also, if you are completely lost as to what I am talking about (it's a hard thing to follow), read this post and the comments, then this post and it's comments, then finally this post. Hopefully that will help you understand what happened.

Confession

I am a liar. I lie a ton. Especially to myself. I pretend to be smarter, cooler, funnier, and better looking than I am. Because I learned a while back that when you throw yourself in the deep end of anything, you'll struggle, but then you'll swim. For example, I say I am smarter than I am. I make everyone around me think I am a genius. Then, when it comes to it, I usually am. You're already more than you imagine you can be, you just have to push yourself. That is a philosophy I have developed. But here is the truth.

I think I am ugly. I think I am stupid. I think that there is no reason any person ever should be attracted to me. I believe there is no draw to me. But I pretend to be attractive. I throw myself into the deep end. I pretend to be attractive. I try to think that I am. But I am not. So if you think, "Wow, Wyatt is ugly. Ugly enough to make woman stop liking men in general. I should inform him in an anonymous way because that isn't a piece of crap move at all. In fact, I am sure that is exactly what great men like Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, and Albert Einstein would do. I even think Jesus Christ would be judgmental and anonymously make a guy feel bad about himself. I am making the world a better place and not making a self conscious person feel bad at all," just know,  you are wrong.

I don't need complete jerks telling me I'm ugly.

I don't need any more negative thoughts generated in my brain.

I don't need you commenting on my life.

I hope your goal is to make me commit suicide, because, honestly, that is the only thing that you'll really accomplish. You aren't funny. You aren't making anyone think less of me besides me. The only thing in the world that you are doing is, by the definition of the world, being a total skunk. 

If you really feel I need your advice, don't take the coward's approach. Sign your name. As Captain Malcolm Reynolds once said, "Next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face."

Good news!

Well, the shrew has spoken! An anonymous girl (or extremely confused guy) has decided to leave this humdinger of a comment:

So glad jerks read my blog and feel compelled to look at it even though doing so might change their sexual preferences! So, for that lucky anonymous hermaphrodite, I make a promise:

I, Wyatt Russell Duclos, solemnly swear that I will do all that is in my power to upload as many pictures of me in my suit as I possibly can. This is a promise made in the understanding that doing so will eliminate trolls from trolling on my blog or cause such trolls to change their sexual preference (which is imagined to be a negative prospect). Most importantly, I intend to prove that pictures of me will not change the sexually preference of viewers (it will not change for women because I am so good looking and it will not change for men because, honestly, I am not that good looking).

I would also like to publicly tell whoever commented that that they are not forced to read my blog (and if they are they need to call the police because that is not a healthy thing to force someone to do). Seriously though, if you are reading my blog and being a jerk, just stop reading. I write this for myself, not for your needs and wants. I don't care what you want or don't want me to post. To quote a friend of mine, 

You should know: this is my blog.

Not yours. Not the kid-next-door's. Not my mom's.
I'm gonna post about whatever I want to post about.
The good, the bad, the ugly and all that jazz.
Don't like it? Don't read it.

So learn to either stop doing something you don't like doing anyway or learn to shut up because your trolling isn't wanted.

Just for you, you little sloop.

Bond, James Bond. Actually Wyatt Duclos, but you know.

I have really started to like an album lately. Now I know that typically my musical interests are not like this, but I did come from rock-and-roll as my roots. I am mostly pretty calm with my musical choices, but I can't help myself with some good rock. One of my favorite bands just released an album this year called The 2nd Law. Holy crap I dare you to listen to it without feeling like you are watching a film with the lead role being 007. Just listen to this:



That guitar is just...so Bond-esc.

Also, I got a new suit. It looks so hot. You will have a hard time looking without wanting to kiss me. Even if you are a guy. Maybe not. Don't turn gay for me. I would not support that. Stay straight, my friends.
I'll post a picture of me in the suit soon. I need to get dressed to go to my cousin's baptism then I will take a picture. Yeah.

You'd think that

You'd think a guy that has seventeen direct family members would see more than two of them on a daily basis.

You'd think a guy with tons of friends would be hanging out with at least one of them on the evening of a break from school.

You'd think that a guy that had two cans of Coke that day and two bottles of Martinelli's in the last two days wouldn't try to finish off the two liter of Coke.

You'd think that a guy that is really actually content with his life in general but frustrated with the moment wouldn't blog about it.

You'd think I would run out of things to complain about.

You'd think that I would get sick of watching Big Fish or The Dark Knight Rises or Malcolm in the Middle.

Well you would be wrong (with the exception of that last one. Seriously. Just done watching and rewatching). 

I'm sorry I have kind of been the pits lately. I have definitely had a case of the everything-I-feel-is-worth-blogging-is-not-a-good-thing blues. I blame the very Narnian season coming up (winter without Christmas). I probably won't being leaving the house anytime tonight. Because not having a social life outside of your three best friends does that when they are all busy liking someone (or in one case, not liking someone (long story)). 

I am also really tired. I didn't sleep at all from the 23rd to the 24th, then only got six hours of sleep between Eve and Day. Then the last two nights I got a solid 40 minutes and built a rocking horse (actually more like a solid 12 hours). And I think I'm dehydrated? Yeah, probably should drink water. I will, don't worry. 

My life is just thrilling, eh? Winter and I don't talk much. We aren't really friends. I try to talk to it but one of us just starts yelling and when it's me I lose the argument because people think I am crazy. Let's just bring on Spring, yeah? I'm so tired. 

I need to do something. But it's like Hoth out there and I don't have a car or any other form of transportation. Not even a ton-ton or an AT-AT. My life is so hard. I hate sitting here, but I don' have much of a choice.

To end on a good note, my story I started writing years ago is improving slowly. I am a introvert by force, not by choice.

It will happen

I love when I forget, even for a second, that I am going to do great things. Because when I remember nothing in the world can stop me from doing so.

Celebrity Crush

I don't usually have these. But gosh dang it, I just like her too much. And I have hardly even seen her. See, this actress is the next companion in the television show Doctor Who. Her name is Jenna-Louise Coleman. It may be her good looks, it may be her British accent. It may even be the fact that she has a name closely fitting Jean Louise Finch. Regardless, she has got a good sized chunk of my heart. Check her out:

She's just adorable.

I mean, look at her. I would bake with her any day.

The best gift.

So I have been going through a lot internally. I could explain, but I already did in a letter. You'll understand why when you read the letter, but for the moment just know I was feeling like I needed one person: my brother, Brock. He was the only one I could talk to. But because he had a bunch of mission stuff on the Monday before Christmas (Christmas Eve) when his P-Day usually is, he told us he couldn't email. But I didn't care. On Saturday I just needed to vent my emotions to my best friend. So I did. I even put the subject of the email as, "I know we'll talk before you read this." So here is my letter, unedited and completely and totally personal. Please know I put this here only so you know how powerful the results were.

My Best Bud-

I just need to talk to you. I really miss you right now. I always miss you, but where you would be Trevor or someone else takes your place, but there are some places where only you fit. Like right now. It's Christmas time. Everyone has their family. I mean everyone. Trevor has his family. Bob has his. Nick has his. Nicole Tucker (who I am best friends with) has hers. The Popes and Pixtons and Haws' have theres. And to some extent Mom and Dad have their own thing happening, just the two of them. That's why you are so important. Because you are me plus two years. When the married people started talking about pregnancy, we went to play pool. When everyone had their family Christmas parties, we watched Jingle All the Way together (which I watched last night, alone). You are the one that keeps me from not being alone. And a Christmas like I'm reminiscing about may never happen again. This my last Christmas home and if I had one hesitation about not going on a mission ASAP, it would be wanting to spend one more Christmas with you while we are both wife-free. I need you. I love you. You are my best friend, better than all 6.9 billion other people. I'm glad I followed you, even though it felt sometimes like I was in your shadow. You are awesome. I love you. Merry Christmas. Just know that no one misses you more than me. I guarantee. Because no one else needs you with them more than me. 

-Your Best Bud

Tomorrow is Christmas. We are going to talk on the phone. I knew what was going to happen. But Saturday night I prayed. I really prayed. I asked Heavenly Father for a confirmation. See, I could leave before Brock gets back. I have always felt like an afterthought in his weekly emails. I needed to talk to him when it was just us. All I wanted was one, meaningful exchange with him before I left on my mission. That is what I prayed for; that was what I wanted. And I got it. Heavenly Father is the best at giving and, boy, is he the best at surprising us. After pulling an all-nighter with my friends, I woke up after a two hour nap to the best Christmas gift ever. What was it, you ask? Well here it is.

Hey mate, 

Turns out we got to do email today but we don't have a lot of time. You get the privilege of receiving my only email of the day!!

You know what helped me this Christmas? Elder Holland has an article in the Ensign (or New Era, I read it in the Liahona) that talks about his first Christmas away from home. It was when he was a new missionary, training a newer missionary and opening a new area. They spent the whole day the whole week actually, knocking on doors without anyone listening to them (as great as the mission is, those days happen and they are rough). But he said that was the first Christmas that he really focused on what it meant instead of focusing on just enjoying it. There is a lot of wisdom in his words. 

I love you and I'm glad you miss me. I miss you too. I am so excited for what you're going to learn on your mission. You'll grow in a way you'll never expect. Like it says in Ether 12:27, when you're out on your mission, you're going to be shown your weaknesses more than ever, believe me. But they'll be turned into strengths. You'll have a mission president that loves you and is inspired by Heavenly Father to help you become who you need to be. That relationship is so special. 

I pray for you because I know you are at a really fun, but really hard part of your life right now. And I am proud of you. I tell everyone that I have five brothers, four that served missions, and one that is on his way. One of the things I've learned is that I never have to wait to be happy. I can find the good in everything and enjoy life wherever I am. You are a good kid, and I'm excited to see you. 

I love you,

Elder Duclos

I'm sure he doesn't know how much his email meant or how much it made me cry. But Heavenly Father loves me so much. So much that he would give me a meaningful, personal conversation with my best bud. I know that He knows me personally. This Christmas is the best one I've ever had. Because even though I am kind of a loner, I am never alone. I have my Heavenly Father there, making sure I am happy. What else could I ask for?

I like work

My job is the perfect job. Good coworkers, good pay, free pizza, fulfilling work. I love it so much.

Things I never did/was

Tomorrow is the end. Not really, but if it was, I have a pretty embarrassing list of non-complishments. Here it is:

• Never even kissed a girl. Not even close.
• Never was an adult.
• Never owned a car.
• Never read the entire Bible (almost there, though).
• Never wrote a book and/or movie.
• Never had a relationship with a girl.
• Never read Foundation.
• Never been out of a North American country.
• Never went on a mission.
• Never got my endowments.
• Never became an elder.
• Never been a president of anything.
• Never been married.
• Never went to college.
• Never ate a steak burger in Utah.
• Never had my concealed carry permit.
• Never did all of my laundry.
• Never worn a suit tailored for me.
• Never recreated any of my favorite scenes from my favorite movies.
• Never gone skydiving.
• Never seen The Hobbit.
• Never seen Life of Pi.
• Never expressed how much people really mean to me.

So that is my list. Pretty depressing. Good thing I'm working on it. Also good thing the world is still going to be happening for longer than the next 24 hours and one minute.

I don't like stuff like this

Typically I don't like posting stuff like this (or reading posts like this), but this song is really easy to relate to for me.



Ha. I am such a dork. I did the numbers last night; I am 0 for 25 of significant crushes that amounted to anything. I am so glad I get to go on a mission and forget all this girl stuff.

This is me. In a sick video.

Sandwich from Jessie on Vimeo.

It'll work out

It always works out, no matter what you're going through. But just knowing that you will feel better soon won't make getting hit in the crotch hurt any less.

That moment

I like to say that I am always right. Because I am always right. I know when it won't work out and I know when it will. That's why the moment of heart break blindsided me. I was wrong. It sucks being wrong.

I am in a posting mood

You know those nights when you have a head full of thoughts and you can't do anything except think? Tonight. I am just letting some of those thoughts go. I really am so sick of school. I don't want to go anymore. I am so tired. I just have so many things to say that I could never type out a whole thought because it's so complex.

The moment you start saying you're done with something is right when it becomes ten millions times harder to avoid. Things are just the worst sometimes. I am just writing words that help me clear my head. 

I watched O Brother, Where Art Thou? today. Such a great movie. I want to watch a Harrison Ford action movie from the nineties or thousands, like Fugitive or Frequency or Firewall (the fugitive used a frequency to hack a firewall. HA!) 

I want to see The Hobbit and Les Miserables and Man of Steel. Especially the last one. I don't know if you guys know this, but Superman was my first pop-culture icon. When I was six I wanted to be him more than anyone. Now one of my favorite people in the film industry is creating a sick film about my favorite superhero? Dream come true. Literally. I really wanted Christopher Nolan to direct a Superman movie (yeah I know he is producing, but that's good enough).

Anyway. Merry Christmas.

I just don't know what to do

I hate this guy. I really have never seen one thing I like about him. I want to not hate him, but I can't. I can't find one thing I like. I don't know what to do. Advice?

I guess I am just different?

I really don't feel like living through a certain date is that important. I feel like I am the only one. Or maybe I just don't have a high school level personality. I am just more mature or something. But keep in mind that you did live during 12/12/12 at 12:12:12 AM and PM, so did 6,973,738,433 other people. So congratulations. You participated in a world wide event of living for two limits by a human clock that are unusual because of the way the are numbered.

Girls

Hahahaha. Remember this post? Hahahahaha I am so stupid to think that I could just not like girls. But for reals this time. That girl that I liked for over two years? Not anymore. That girl I am really good friends with? Not going to be more than friends. That girl who asked for my number? Good luck with the rejection hotline (haha just kidding, but really, I won't be flirting with you via text). That girl who might have a crush on me that is really pretty and I would not dislike liking? She probably won't get to know me very well.
I am D-O-N-E with girls.



And I am happy with that.


Also, this.
I seriously almost urinated from excitement. I really did. It made me explode with pure excitement. I LOVE SUPERMAN. SO MUCH. I SHOULD STOP yelling.

Purging the system

Once upon a time there was a show called Doctor Who. There still is, I just want to refer back to a certain point in the show. So if you don't know, Doctor Who is a British TV show that follows the life of a time traveling alien known as the Doctor. It was really big in the sixties, seventies, and eighties. The thing about the Doctor is if he gets injured and has enough time, he can regenerate. Basically this gives the producers a way to change the main actor and retain the same character. Anyway, a reboot start in 2005.

The tenth Doctor, played by David Tennant, was around for a good three seasons and he was the face of Doctor Who right when I got into it. Really, he was the best thing I could imagine for the show. He just fit. There were characters that he had met (both as the ninth and tenth doctors) that were a part of the plot and I really started to like them a lot. They were really quirky and it was a fun point in the story.

Then something happened.

David decided to leave. I didn't think I would like that. Who is he to leave the perfect show? He was perfect. The whole situation was perfect. But it was over. I didn't know what the show had in store for me, but I couldn't imagine anything better than the tenth doctor.

The eleventh doctor looked weird. He sounded weird. He acted weird. It was weird. Not only that, but the show felt different. His ship, the TARDIS, was different. His weapon of choice, the sonic screwdriver, changed. None of my favorite characters were there. They had all left when David did. 

That's when I realized the show was purging the system. It was starting fresh. It had a good run with the tenth doctor, the best yet, according to some people. But they knew they needed to move on. David was not going to be coming back, so they knew the only thing they could do was make the next situation as great as they could, without anything supporting them that had been established by David's doctor.

And honestly, I did not like it at all. This Matt Smith guy was crazy. But after a while, I started to love it more than before. I found myself not wanting to even remember that there was any other doctor than Matt Smith.

So with that long analogy, just note that I am purging the romantic system. Cleaning the whole rhino and not just the legs. What? Yeah that didn't make much sense. Sorry, I am tired. System is purging. 

Reasons I fear I am part robot (and things that make me know I'm not)

I realized I could be a robot. I know I'm not, but just because of pop-culture "facts." Tell me what you think.

• I just can't do the RECAPTCHA things. You know, the pictures that makes sure you aren't a robot? I can't do that.
• Sometimes magnets will still to me. I don't know why.
• I just understand computers. It's almost like I understand their language.
• I am good at math. Like a robot.
• I look like him (kind of).
• I can hear songs on the radio in my head.
• I have a USB connector in my ear (just kidding. It's a firewire cable).

The thing is, the only reason I don't think I am a robot is because I cry. But cyborgs can cry, right? Oh well.

I've Always Been a Fool

I've done this:

Always Been a Fool
Big Fish — MOVIECLIPS.com

Now I need to do this:

Field of Daffodils
Big Fish — MOVIECLIPS.com