The Future

I blog a ton these days. Wow.

I don't know what I will be doing in the future. I probably will go to the University of Utah, but I don't know what I am going to study. I don't know what career I will pursue. I don't even know when I want to get married.
So to know that starting July 24, 2013, Heavenly Father will be telling me exactly where He wants me to be and do what He wants me to do really brings comfort. There are forty three days and eleven hours left until I enter the MTC. I don't plan on changing much. I think the biggest change is I will have seen Man of Steel. Granted, that is huge for me, but really that's about it. My life for forty three days is completely planned out.
I will have to say goodbye to Maren earlier than the rest of you guys. She is going on vacation to Italy (go figure). I have been really scared to say goodbye. I crushed hard on her, guys, let's be real. It's not completely over. So when I thought of saying goodbye, that was scary because what if she is married? What if I get back and there is no way she can be in my life anymore because people don't have crushes on their married friends? I was scared because if I had to say goodbye to Maren, it could be forever, basically. When I say goodbye, our friendship would have to end.
But tonight Heavenly Father blessed me with the gift of tongues. Not in the traditional sense of the term, but more the ability to say something I didn't realize I felt. Maren was about to get into her car and I confessed my love for our friendship and I told her that more than anything I am glad we weren't more than just that: friends. Her liking me back could've made life better, but I think chances are it would've been worse. With every inspired word I spoke I felt more and more relieved. Suddenly I realized she was my friend, no matter the past. I cannot express how truly happy that made me feel. Maren is one of my closest friends and the thought of losing that relationship scared me more than an army of Italian Catholic Priests. She never became the girl who finally loved me back. It wasn't a cheesy romantic comedy ending. No romance. Way too much comedy. A little drama. But in the end, she and I became close friends. She really has helped me become a better person in ways I don't think any one else could have because I have never thought of anyone else quite like I thought of Maren.

Life is changing. It's hard and sometimes it seems to be getting worse. But it will always be getting better if you are following the Lord.

Side note: Last night I basically slammed my face into my night stand because I thought I was two feet in front of it. Nope. That's what I get for thinking I can do things in the dark. It hurt a lot.