Fifty

Fifty guys at Pleasant Grove High School have their mission calls.

That's just an awesome update for y'all. Today I had mission prep class for the first time since I got my call. I do not care what anyone else in the world says, the Grovecreek 7th ward mission prep class taught by Bishop Andy Busby is the best class ever to exist. Basically we have the most spiritual mission related discussions for an hour. You have no idea. If you ever think that I will be a good missionary, it's because of that class. I seriously would rather go to that class for 7 hours than school. It has changed my life. If you are in my ward (whether you're planning on serving or not) you should go. It will soon be every week because that is how awesome it is. Aaaaaaaaah. Be jealous.

Also, four months from now, I will be in the MTC.

And mine heart was pained with the iniquities of the people

Now I am not trying to brag or be rude, but don't comment on this saying something like, "You're going to be a great missionary some day." I appreciate what you mean, but honestly, I don't care. I don't care whether or not I am going to be great. I think about Nephi and how he was so amazing and then his cry of "o wretched man that I am! Yea, my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities"seems to apply to my life anymore, so don't tell me any different. Not until I am more righteous than him (which won't happen anytime soon, just so you know).

Nephi says in 2 Nephi 32:7, "...I am left to mourn because of the wickedness, and the ignorance, and the stiffneckedness of men: for they will not search knowledge, nor understand great knowledge, when it is given unto them in plainness, even as plain as word can be."

I think about Lehi and how he would feel in the world today. Because I would think that Jerusalem was not as wicked as even some of the cleanest of cities today. And it makes me sad. I know tons of kids raised in the gospel, who were "given [the truth] in greatness" yet they can't get it! People I love. They don't realize the truth!

I am saddened because I know that they have lost sight of what matters most. They have lost sight of our Savior, Jesus Christ. They get caught up in the "now" and lose sight of the "forever." I honestly don't care about myself. I could go to Hell for all I care if it meant that they finally understood what they are giving up. Because if they did realize, they would never turn away from it. If you really understand the gospel of Christ, you never will forget. Even if you get caught up in sin, you will always have that undeniable truth.

"Oh that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people! Yeah, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth." (Alma 29:1-2) 

Right now, I feel this plea with all my heart. I look at the deepness and completeness of Satan's grasp and I can't fix a millionth of it. It can't happen because "behold, I am a man." (Alma 29:3) The world is black and dark with the sins of the people. Satan seems to have total control. And he is so implanted. I have been on this earth for eighteen years. I can hardly keep my head above sin for an hour (even in my dreams, I am a sinner). How can I overcome this mammon? How can I overcome the world? I am just one man.

"In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." 

John 16:33

Christ knew how I would be feeling tonight. So much so that He sees even my hopelessness. "Be of good cheer" is said before even the reason. He comforts us first, then tells us why. I have heard this scripture thousands of times, but each time I thought of it as a more personal promise when I have a trial. But really, it is a statement for the small and the large. I don't have to overcome the darkness of the world in my quest to share Christ's gospel. I just need to live as He did so through me He can shake loose the binding hold of Lucifer. 

I know what Moroni did. A person reading Alma 48:17 might think, "Wow, if everyone was like Moroni, Hell would be shaken." I know how we as a people can shake the foundations of Hell: Let Christ work through us. Alone, we are as capable as a toddler trying to fly to the moon, but with Christ, the moon is nothing compared to His capabilities. We cannot even imagine what He has in store. 

As followers of Christ have said before me and will say afterward, the gospel of Christ is true and you cannot even have hope if you don't turn to Him. I love you, but not as much as Christ does. Imagine how much love you can feel and times it by infinity and that is still nothing compared to the love Christ feels for us. Turn to Him. Please. He will not fail you. 

It's funny

It's funny how people forget stuff. Like the way things began. Like who cared and who didn't. Like the fact that crap is crap, no matter what you do about it.

Have high standards. Don't flinch. But more than anything else, make your friends have high standards. The phrase, "stand ye in holy places" means more than go where it's holy. You can't always be sitting in the temple lobby. So make it a goal to make where you stand holy because you stood there.

And at the same time, shouldn't that apply to who you stand with? Christ stood among sinners, but not because He liked to sin. He was raising them up. And shouldn't we be the same way? Make your friends have high standards. It's expectations that allow people to go to the enemies side. The devil can go as far as you expect him to go. He is a real threat. He is so powerful. Expect the best. Don't do anything less. Because he is the opposite of God. His only goal is to destroy you. So don't let him. Any person with a body has power over something that does not. So don't give him an inch of your soul. As one of my heroes said, "I will give place no more to the enemy of my soul."

I want to tell you a story

It's about a man who came to earth. To make writing easier, we'll call him Clark. 

Clark was sent because his father, a good and noble man, wanted his son to live a life like himself. 

Clark was taken into a home by parents who wanted a baby boy. They got a son who was going to be strong, but they didn't realize it for a while. As Clark grew, he knew he had certain responsibilities due to traits inherit from his true father, who he had never met. So Clark decided to fulfill what his father had always planned on him doing: protecting and saving the world from total destruction.

Clark was on a planet that wasn't his home. He had parents he loved more than anything, but they weren't his only parents. He got a job as a writer, people around him never realizing how much power he really possessed. But when he heard a cry for help, no matter where he was, he put on his father's mantle and saved those he could. He wasn't perfect, but he tried to be. And it seemed that when he didn't reach his full potential, the shortcomings were made up for him.

At times, although Clark had amazing powers, he felt he needed guidance, guidance from him who truly knew his situation: his father. Luckily, when Clark retreated to his mountain citadel, he was able to gain insights from his first father. This connection was one of the reasons Clark was able to become so great.

Clark had a heart of righteousness and because of his father, he had powers and gifts the world wouldn't understand and some would even reject and scorn. He knew his potential and every day Clark strived to fulfill that potential, because he knew that was the only worthwhile choice. Clark was a super hero, but few ever realized.

This is funny. Because you really think you know who I am talking about. Well get ready to be blown away. This completely true story is not written about a fictional character. It's the story of Wyatt Duclos. I'll change the names and add a couple of words to help make it clearer.

Wyatt was sent because his Heavenly Father, a good and noble man, wanted his son to live a life like himself. 

Wyatt was taken into a home by parents who wanted another baby boy. They got a son who was going to be spiritually strong, but they didn't realize it for a while. As Wyatt grew, he knew he had certain responsibilities due to priesthood powers inherited from his true father, who he had never met. So Wyatt decided to fulfill what his father had always planned on him doing: protecting and saving the world from total spiritual destruction.

Wyatt was on a planet that wasn't his home. He had parents he loved more than anything, but they weren't his only parents. He got a job as a writer, people around him never realizing how much power he really possessed. But when he heard a cry for help, no matter where he was, he put on his father's mantle and saved those he could. He wasn't perfect, but he tried to be. And it seemed that when he didn't reach his full potential, the shortcomings were made up for him.

At times, although Wyatt had amazing powers, he felt he needed guidance, guidance from him who truly knew his situation: his Heavenly Father. Luckily, when Wyatt retreated to his mountain citadel, he was able to gain insights from his first father. This connection was one of the reasons Wyatt was able to become so great.

Wyatt had a heart of righteousness and because of his Heavenly Father, he had priesthood powers and spiritual gifts the world wouldn't understand and some would even reject and scorn. He knew his potential and every day Wyatt strived to fulfill that potential, because he knew that was the only worthwhile choice. Wyatt was a super hero, but few ever realized.

The thing about this is, I am not the only one. Anyone who has the gospel has the same responsibilities and the same gifts. It may seem like bragging that I say that Superman and I are the same person and I guess you're right. Superman never saved souls and neither have I. But I really intend to. I am a huge Superman fan because the story of Superman is the story of any priesthood holding twelve year old or eighty year old. Our Father asks us to be super, but first He made us super. We have His guidance. We have His gifts. We have His power.

I guess we all have a choice. We all have that decision to make: 

Will I be normal?

Or will I be super?

Missionary Month

So my ward is doing missionary month. We have three weeks of three different challenges, but I am just doing all three challenges all three weeks. One of the challenges is to stop using social networking sites, and I think blogger counts for that. However, missionaries can write home once a week via email and that is usually on Preparation Day, which is typically Monday, so I am writing a letter on P-Day via my blog.

Hey everyone!

Life has been great. I haven't written on here in a while, but that's just because I am lazy. Oh and missionary month. Anyway, I am having a great time with missionary month. I haven't watched TV and I've only listened to church approved music and I haven't networked socially for five days, and will continue in a like manner for another 16. It really has increased the amount of the spirit's influence on my life.

I am so grateful for the gospel. I wish I could write everything that has happened that has strengthened my testimony in just the last two weeks, but I can't because I only have a half hour (the amount of time you can be logged into LDS mail). 

We can go for just today, if you'd like. Today I started out with a great lesson in seminary. It is so good to just enjoy the influence of the spirit while messing around with a bunch of other kids while learning the gospel. Then, when my friend got stuck in the snow, one of the biggest spiritual giants I know, Brother Joel Wright, came and pulled her out. He didn't even wait for me to ask, he just did. Then when he left, he didn't wait for a thanks. He just did what he knew was right then kept traveling on.

Lately I have felt at a spiritual decline, but the past two weeks have been so great. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and beyond that, I am a firm believer of Christ's gospel. I am so grateful for the atonement that gives me a reason to hope. 

I am going on a mission and really, I can't wait. 

I can't wait to leave everything I've ever known behind. 

I can't wait to move out of the only house I've ever lived in. 

I can't wait to go to a foreign home and feel out of place but then make it my home. 

I can't wait to work and walk until my feet are sore and my skin is sunburned. 

I can't wait to be free from the stresses of school and girls and family and media to take on a stress of eternal significance: bringing others to Christ. 

I can't wait to be yelled at, mocked, spit upon, threatened, and rejected. 

I can't wait because this gospel is true and what else would matter? 

Where I am when I am a missionary is where the Lord wants me. I will be a true, complete, full-time missionary. I want to lose my life in the service of God (I don't mean I want to die, just that I want to forget myself). The gospel is true. I am called of God to be a representative of His son, our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ to preach His gospel to the world. To be hated and loved by those I serve with all my heart. To be a beacon of truth and a guide to eternal, real, almost tangibly full happiness.

And I can't wait.

My Fortress of Solitude

I have lots of thoughts, but they are all going to be worth reading. This post will be long, but you should read it all. Because I think it's needed for you.

My entire life I have had the gospel. Because of that, it was hard for me to know what the spirit felt like  because I had never not known what it felt like. 

For the past week or so, I couldn't feel it. I didn't know what it was. I searched for what it would be that caused this spiritual recession. And even now I can't tell you what caused it. All I know is that I was lost. I could not find the spirit. Prayer, church, seminary, scripture study. It was like I was learning but I was just learning physically, not spiritually. Last night was especially bad. I felt like I was trying so hard but getting no results. I spent hours studying but I could never find that spirit.

Then this morning was the temple day for my Priest quorum. I set my alarm, knowing that if I could get the spirit anywhere, it would be in the temple of the Lord. So I woke up an hour after my group had left. I had set my alarm for 7:10 PM, not AM. After the feeling of failure I gained from totally missing the one shot I had at bringing my life back to where it was before. I had missed my one shot at entering the temple of God to gain His spirit. 

I sat at home alone, eating pizza. And honestly, I didn't have much drive to do anything. Both of my parents are out of town. If you didn't realize (or don't live in Utah county), it was about 4 degrees Fahrenheit all day. That's why this next part had to be completely psychotic. I decided that I needed to go to on a hike. You see, back in May (I think) I was running for student body president. I was nervous and tired and restless. I went into the mountains and got to the look out point up Grovecreek Canyon and I prayed. That night I lost. But I was fine because those mountains had helped me come closer to the Lord.

However, as I decided to hike, that honestly was the furthest thing from my mind. I seriously thought that I was likely to die or get injured. But I didn't care because I was just so done with everything. So in jeans, a thin jacket, earmuffs and gloves, I sent out on my journey.

My body was frozen before I got out of my neighborhood. By the time I reached the mouth of the canyon, my breathing was heavy and hard. I walked up listening to the novel Frankenstein. Little tip, if you want to stop being depressed about being alone, don't listen to that book. I walked up thinking all about how hard my life was and how much I had tried only to get nothing in return. 

I was almost to the lookout point and I had decided that I would pray again there. I needed to get back to where I was. But just before the lookout point, I wandered upon a herd of deer. It made me stop. I don't know what I was thinking, but I went from being bitter about everything to having my heart a little softer and my neck a little looser. I sat there for a while, just thinking.

I got to the lookout point.

You should click on the photo to see how spectacular a view it is. No edit.

Do you guys remember what ancient prophets used as temples? Yeah, that's right. Mountains. I had the most breathtaking view. Then I got down on my knees and I prayed. I had prayed plenty of times before. I had prayed longer with no results. But when I stood up after praying on that ancient temple, I had the spirit. Finally I had it.

It was so cold my phone shut off. I hiked down the mountain with my thoughts being the only thing to entertain me. I thought about how blessed I was. I thought about how lucky I was. My body was colder than when I walked up the mountain, but I couldn't have been warmer. I had the Spirit of God coursing through my veins. I was finally happy.

I walked up to commune with the God of all as a bitter, cold, lonely boy. I walked down hopeful and happy, with the spirit in my heart and the Savior at my side.

I love Superman. I love him because he is so much like me. His story is really similar to all of our stories. A being more than mortal who was sent off by loving parents to earth. He was given to mortal parents who loved him. He lived a normal life, but he had an enormous amount of power. He spent his life serving others with that power because their was nothing else he could do with it. And he had a place where he could go and talk to his father, just the two of them. He had a Fortress of Solitude. That mountain has become my Fortress of Solitude. It doesn't matter what happens. I can get my heart broken or my leg broken or I can be pushed to the edge like Job. It doesn't matter, because my Fortress of Solitude is not just a place. It is a state of mind. I can be in contact with the all knowing, all powerful being in charge of everything and He and I can just relax and talk. Nothing is a better feeling, I promise.

Remember prayer. It really, really works. I promise.