A message to girls

You don't have to be awkward around a guy just because you don't like him anymore. Because honestly, it just makes them sad.

And mine heart was pained with the iniquities of the people

Now I am not trying to brag or be rude, but don't comment on this saying something like, "You're going to be a great missionary some day." I appreciate what you mean, but honestly, I don't care. I don't care whether or not I am going to be great. I think about Nephi and how he was so amazing and then his cry of "o wretched man that I am! Yea, my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities"seems to apply to my life anymore, so don't tell me any different. Not until I am more righteous than him (which won't happen anytime soon, just so you know).

Nephi says in 2 Nephi 32:7, "...I am left to mourn because of the wickedness, and the ignorance, and the stiffneckedness of men: for they will not search knowledge, nor understand great knowledge, when it is given unto them in plainness, even as plain as word can be."

I think about Lehi and how he would feel in the world today. Because I would think that Jerusalem was not as wicked as even some of the cleanest of cities today. And it makes me sad. I know tons of kids raised in the gospel, who were "given [the truth] in greatness" yet they can't get it! People I love. They don't realize the truth!

I am saddened because I know that they have lost sight of what matters most. They have lost sight of our Savior, Jesus Christ. They get caught up in the "now" and lose sight of the "forever." I honestly don't care about myself. I could go to Hell for all I care if it meant that they finally understood what they are giving up. Because if they did realize, they would never turn away from it. If you really understand the gospel of Christ, you never will forget. Even if you get caught up in sin, you will always have that undeniable truth.

"Oh that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people! Yeah, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth." (Alma 29:1-2) 

Right now, I feel this plea with all my heart. I look at the deepness and completeness of Satan's grasp and I can't fix a millionth of it. It can't happen because "behold, I am a man." (Alma 29:3) The world is black and dark with the sins of the people. Satan seems to have total control. And he is so implanted. I have been on this earth for eighteen years. I can hardly keep my head above sin for an hour (even in my dreams, I am a sinner). How can I overcome this mammon? How can I overcome the world? I am just one man.

"In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." 

John 16:33

Christ knew how I would be feeling tonight. So much so that He sees even my hopelessness. "Be of good cheer" is said before even the reason. He comforts us first, then tells us why. I have heard this scripture thousands of times, but each time I thought of it as a more personal promise when I have a trial. But really, it is a statement for the small and the large. I don't have to overcome the darkness of the world in my quest to share Christ's gospel. I just need to live as He did so through me He can shake loose the binding hold of Lucifer. 

I know what Moroni did. A person reading Alma 48:17 might think, "Wow, if everyone was like Moroni, Hell would be shaken." I know how we as a people can shake the foundations of Hell: Let Christ work through us. Alone, we are as capable as a toddler trying to fly to the moon, but with Christ, the moon is nothing compared to His capabilities. We cannot even imagine what He has in store. 

As followers of Christ have said before me and will say afterward, the gospel of Christ is true and you cannot even have hope if you don't turn to Him. I love you, but not as much as Christ does. Imagine how much love you can feel and times it by infinity and that is still nothing compared to the love Christ feels for us. Turn to Him. Please. He will not fail you. 

Motivation

Suddenly I feel so motivated to practice on the punching bag I have down stairs.

Things I never did/was

Tomorrow is the end. Not really, but if it was, I have a pretty embarrassing list of non-complishments. Here it is:

• Never even kissed a girl. Not even close.
• Never was an adult.
• Never owned a car.
• Never read the entire Bible (almost there, though).
• Never wrote a book and/or movie.
• Never had a relationship with a girl.
• Never read Foundation.
• Never been out of a North American country.
• Never went on a mission.
• Never got my endowments.
• Never became an elder.
• Never been a president of anything.
• Never been married.
• Never went to college.
• Never ate a steak burger in Utah.
• Never had my concealed carry permit.
• Never did all of my laundry.
• Never worn a suit tailored for me.
• Never recreated any of my favorite scenes from my favorite movies.
• Never gone skydiving.
• Never seen The Hobbit.
• Never seen Life of Pi.
• Never expressed how much people really mean to me.

So that is my list. Pretty depressing. Good thing I'm working on it. Also good thing the world is still going to be happening for longer than the next 24 hours and one minute.

I don't like stuff like this

Typically I don't like posting stuff like this (or reading posts like this), but this song is really easy to relate to for me.



Ha. I am such a dork. I did the numbers last night; I am 0 for 25 of significant crushes that amounted to anything. I am so glad I get to go on a mission and forget all this girl stuff.

That moment

I like to say that I am always right. Because I am always right. I know when it won't work out and I know when it will. That's why the moment of heart break blindsided me. I was wrong. It sucks being wrong.

I just don't know what to do

I hate this guy. I really have never seen one thing I like about him. I want to not hate him, but I can't. I can't find one thing I like. I don't know what to do. Advice?

Purging the system

Once upon a time there was a show called Doctor Who. There still is, I just want to refer back to a certain point in the show. So if you don't know, Doctor Who is a British TV show that follows the life of a time traveling alien known as the Doctor. It was really big in the sixties, seventies, and eighties. The thing about the Doctor is if he gets injured and has enough time, he can regenerate. Basically this gives the producers a way to change the main actor and retain the same character. Anyway, a reboot start in 2005.

The tenth Doctor, played by David Tennant, was around for a good three seasons and he was the face of Doctor Who right when I got into it. Really, he was the best thing I could imagine for the show. He just fit. There were characters that he had met (both as the ninth and tenth doctors) that were a part of the plot and I really started to like them a lot. They were really quirky and it was a fun point in the story.

Then something happened.

David decided to leave. I didn't think I would like that. Who is he to leave the perfect show? He was perfect. The whole situation was perfect. But it was over. I didn't know what the show had in store for me, but I couldn't imagine anything better than the tenth doctor.

The eleventh doctor looked weird. He sounded weird. He acted weird. It was weird. Not only that, but the show felt different. His ship, the TARDIS, was different. His weapon of choice, the sonic screwdriver, changed. None of my favorite characters were there. They had all left when David did. 

That's when I realized the show was purging the system. It was starting fresh. It had a good run with the tenth doctor, the best yet, according to some people. But they knew they needed to move on. David was not going to be coming back, so they knew the only thing they could do was make the next situation as great as they could, without anything supporting them that had been established by David's doctor.

And honestly, I did not like it at all. This Matt Smith guy was crazy. But after a while, I started to love it more than before. I found myself not wanting to even remember that there was any other doctor than Matt Smith.

So with that long analogy, just note that I am purging the romantic system. Cleaning the whole rhino and not just the legs. What? Yeah that didn't make much sense. Sorry, I am tired. System is purging. 

I've Always Been a Fool

I've done this:

Always Been a Fool
Big Fish — MOVIECLIPS.com

Now I need to do this:

Field of Daffodils
Big Fish — MOVIECLIPS.com

This scene

I love this.

Time Stands Still
Big Fish at MOVIECLIPS.com

The Celibate Life

I spent two years, one month and eight days. I was invested in, let's say, stock. For 13.4% of my life and 76.2% of my high school career, I was invested. Granted, I was not fully invested, but it was at the lowest a 90% investment in this cause. I thought, you know, I will ride this to the end and by then, I will for sure have something to show. 

But as the days, weeks, months, and years passed, my confidence, like anyone's would, waned. The stock was not increasing. Like a lifeless body, the measurements were flatlined. No money gained. Today the stock market closed and although the stock was where it always was, when I got a special report, it felt it was at an all-time low.

So I am pulling out. One thing that I learned is that if something doesn't change for two years, one month and eight days, it probably will not. When the market opens next, let the record show that Wyatt Duclos is not and will not be invested anywhere. The stock market is not my place. I've tried and failed on the small scale, never at 90% or even 75% and not for so long. However, this was, as they say, the final nail in the coffin. Fully invested for two years and one month and eight days and all I have to show for it is what I put in.
Every shooting star. Every fallen eyelash. Every 11:11. All my wishes for the past two years, one month and 8 days was for the stock to go up. All my wishes were for her to like me back. Today is the day I realize that none of my wishes will ever come true. And that's what makes it so hard.

There you go. I, Wyatt Duclos, give up. Thank you, world, for teaching me the lesson that I can do all that is possible and nothing will happen. That works out great.

I guess I am an idiot

My mouth kept moving and my brain is just thinking, "Who told you to say that?!" Sometimes I just hate my action-first style. It really shows how dumb I am.

I don't know why

But I get hurt more from two hours of ice skating than a lifetime of backfield sports. Football, Frisbee, soccer. I never needed a bandaid and I never still hurt the next day. And the weird part is the worst injury has nothing to do with the fact that I fell. Some people just got all the moves.

I don't understand

I am an easy going guy. I don't often dislike something. As of now, I have no enemies or anything. I have a couple things I don't like. Among those are two things: country music and non-Christian Christmas music from January to the day after Thanksgiving.

Apparently that is unacceptable. It's not that I try to impose my beliefs on the matter on the whole world. I just prefer that if someone is with me and they refuse to turn off that kind of music, I prefer not to listen. 

Apparently I am a jerk for that. Apparently just because I don't want to listen to that, I am the worst human being on the planet. I feel that I have a right to live my life how I want. It's not like I am killing people or something, but I feel so judged.

So I don't care anymore. Go ahead and hate me for it. It is my choice, and really it's not that horrible of a choice.

Come fly with me

It was the perfect two hours to end the perfect final summer. Next time I don't have school, I won't have to go back. I will not be a child. I will not be relaxed. Next summer summer turns into another season. It won't mean freedom. It won't represent a time where people can't oppress us. It will be the beginning of the rest of our lives. And I don't want it. I don't want this summer to end. Today was honestly the first full, real day of summer for me. Now it is over. And now I am two semesters away from never being a kid again. I don't want it. I want to be here forever.
I just realized why Wendy flew out of that window with Peter. She didn't want the magic to end. Now I wish I could fly away from adulthood forever. I could stand being a kid for the rest of eternity. I don't want to leave this sense of freedom behind. I want to be a kid and never an adult. But that won't happen, so here we go.

Two Hundredth Post!

This is the post of two hundred. I am pretty happy right now, because I am sitting down, not working, and just relaxing. It is amazing. I don't know who I should ask to Homecoming. Should I ask that one girl, or just a friend? Will she want to go with me or would it suck because she would rather go with someone else? Is there someone who wants to go with me that I could ask but don't know about? It's just…you know. I know who I want to ask, but I don't know if I should. It's just the worst.

I would rather just fly out on the Millennium Falcon. 

Explosion

I have a lot of thoughts going through my head right now. It's kind of hard to handle. I read something once that always tells me what to do when my life is falling apart. Here is the quote:

"I love sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I am awake, you know?"

So off to bed I am.