Atticus Finch

He is such a man, you know?

I hope I can be like him some day. Because seriously, such a man.

Senior Picture Story Time!

This morning I went to the temple. I was so happy. I called the post office. 

This is how I felt after:

My mission call was not at the post office.

I just wanted to run away Forrest Gump style.

I was really sad and I even went a little crazy trying to track it down.

I could not get it Thursday, because that meant I would have to wait until Saturday before my two Utah brothers could both be there. And that was not something I wanted to happen.

So I called the post office. Or five post offices.

My dad got involved and via text he informed me that I would not be able to get it. However, my brother rearranged his schedule so he could be down Thursday. No conflict. 

I was like:

 I'm not even nervous.

I don't care when I go.

 I don't care when I go.

There is a place out there that is waiting for the next and final Elder Duclos (of this generation). 

I'm just ready to go.

That's the story.

Photo credit: Nicole Tucker

"You rarely win"

Atticus Finch is a great man. He really would be, if he were real. He knows what courage is. I have read To Kill a Mockingbird at least a billion times. There is a simple quote that really gets me.

"Courage is not a man with a gun in his hand. It's knowing you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win…"

People have seen me persist at one thing. I have been told that it is hopeless. I have been told that my time is not being spent well; that (to use a TKAM reference) Tom Robinson cannot be saved, so why even try? Honestly, until tonight, I never thought of myself as a courageous person. I mean I have always hoped that I was brave, but I didn't know. However, I am.

I knew from the beginning that I was licked. I knew it. There was no denying it. Tom was as good as dead as soon as Mayella Ewell asked him into her yard. But I did it anyway. Why? Because Atticus knew what he was talking about.

"You rarely win, but sometimes you do."

Things I did today

Well, it was a busy one.

• I started out helping Nicole answer Trevor to Homecoming. I did that basically all day. She wanted me to stall him. I didn't really need to, but I accidentally did anyway. 
• Then I had some school. 
• I made a survey on if people in my Medical English class had robbed graves and why. It will be a hit.
• I felt a kinship to Newton and Aristotle and Galileo as we discussed them in Chemistry.
• I filmed some Student Council kids during third period and after school. 
• During lunch I made grilled-cheese panini for two girls that I never, ever thought would be at my house eating my food, Nicole Tucker and Kaylee Whiteley. 
• I told a story for Open Mic in Radio that technically happened to my best friend (but I said it happened to me).
• I fell asleep in my front yard in a chair that was waaaaay too close to the trash (I was too lazy to move it).
• I got picked up by Nicole and Annysela Medrano and we went to Buffalo Wild Wings.
• I did the Blazin' Challenge at BWW for On Campus. The challenge is eating 12 of their hottest (about 300,000 Scoville Heat Units) wings (bone in) within 6 minutes without any drinks and you cannot wipe your face.
• I cried while doing said challenge.
• I dominated said challenge in a beautiful 3 minutes 46 seconds.
• I washed my hands really well, but not well enough because in the car I rubbed my eye and basically burned it to a crisp.
• I went to DI and purchased the book A Thousand Splendid Suns for $2.00.
• My "friends" Nicole and Nini talked about how hot guys were and made me really uncomfortable.
• I helped Nicole really answer Trevor with a giant pair of pants on his windshield.
• I was the mascot (which incidentally is not the best thing to be after downing 12 wings and drinking milk which you can't fully digest).
• I watched PG dominate Provo 41-7.
• I went to McDonald's with Trevor and Nicole.
• I got home and edited a video to show my parents what I did this afternoon (the challenge).
• I texted this really great and awesome friend of mine who I didn't really get to see today, Maren Parsons.
• I blogged.

So you could say I have been a little busy. That is literally nothing of my whole day. I got random texts throughout the day talking about eating pants (in the Spanish language, no less) and I also witnessed the craziest fight I've ever seen at school.

It was a near champion day, I'd say.

The face of complete joy .02 seconds before the face of gut-retching pain. Love it.

To keep me going

I got some good quotes that keep me writing. like: 

"You fail only if you stop writing."-Ray Bradbury

That one is hanging in my room. Or:

"If there is a magic in story writing, and I am convinced there is, no one has ever been able to reduce it to a recipe that can be passed from one person to another. The formula seems to lie solely in the aching urge of the writer to convey something he feels important to the reader. If the writer has that urge, he may sometimes, but by no means always, find the way to do it. You must perceive the excellence that makes a good story good or the errors that makes a bad story. For a bad story is only an ineffective story.”-John Steinbeck

One more:

"Write freely and as rapidly as possible and throw the whole thing on paper. Never correct or rewrite until the whole thing is down. Rewrite in process is usually found to be an excuse for not going on. It also interferes with flow and rhythm which can only come from a kind of unconscious association with the material."-John Steinbeck

The best part is that it's like John Steinbeck and Ray Bradbury are telling me things that they've learned by being professionals and I already knew them. Makes me feel giddy. I mean manly.

It's about time

Well, I have put it off long enough. I don't have any excuses. I really didn't want to put it off, but I ended up doing so. Without many more words, here is the beginning of my first novel:

IT WAS exactly 3:02:00 AM when James Campbell died. He was only twenty-eight when his schedule was through. He needed it, in the long run. He didn’t have family, really, and his friends were just as existent. At least he would get a unique way to go, rather than something depressing like an illness or something boring like a plane crash. No, he was about to go out with a bang, so to speak, because it was 2:59:00 AM and the timeline had a great ending written. Well, before someone changed it, anyway.

James, or Jim, was born in the backroads of Georgia, but he never considered that his home. His parents never cared for them while they were alive, so he was lucky he was only a few months old when they were tried and executed for first degree murder. He entered an orphanage and lived in the home of Henry Townshed, an elderly gentleman living in Glennville, Georgia, until he reached the age of eighteen. Mr. Townshed, Jim just called him Henry, raised twelve children over the course of Jim’s childhood. There wasn’t much order in the home, but for the most part the children behaved themselves. They all appreciated Henry’s kindness. 

Jim never really bothered with schooling. He studied books from the public library rather than going to the local high school. It wasn’t that he didn’t like learning, he simply found it too simple. It was hard for him to be stimulated by formulas he had memorized years before. Jim didn’t have any friends that he knew of. He mostly kept himself private from the world and the world let him be. While most late teen boys were looking forward to their careers, Jim really couldn’t feel interested in any one thing. His mind was too comprehending to be entertained by the careers that most longed for. Plus, without a high school diploma, he knew no college would give him the time of day.

He left the town of Glennville to find something. He never really had a plan and didn’t want to do something he knew he wouldn’t enjoy. So Jim travelled from city to city, doing odd jobs here and there for whatever cash people could spare. He lived in a world where the only constants were himself and the road before him.

His life seemed to be the world he had been in for ten years now: walk, take a bus, or hitchhike to the next town, get enough money for food and commodities, then continue on. Jim couldn’t settle. His world was simple. He knew what would happen. That is, until 3:01 AM.

It wasn’t uncommon for Jim to find himself running or jogging with nowhere to go other than forward. In the early morning hours where he couldn’t sleep, he would just continue on. That morning Jim was among the blue ridge mountains over near Tennessee. The mid-January cold hardly bothered him as the sky started a wet snow. On the road ahead of him was a large group of deer, but Jim wasn’t a threat to them. They could tell he was no threat to them. He was simply another deer as far as they were concerned. Jim stopped twenty five yards away to watch the majestic creatures move almost aimlessly, which of course, was right in line with the timeline.

* * *

Grant Ewell was going for a record. Grant wanted more than anything to get the tanker of gasoline to it’s destination and get home. His anniversary was only two days away and he still had to get to Washington D.C. before he could get back home to Nashville. He had driven through the night the day previously and was starting to do it again.  The longest for driving without sleep was 42 hours straight. So he was shooting to break that, not because he wanted to, but because he had to if he didn’t want his wife yapping at him for the next year. However, breaking the record wasn’t going to happen tonight. It was 3:00:56 AM when he realized he couldn’t drive anymore unless he got some sleep.

“Let’s just get around this corner before I pull over for the night,” he said aloud. It was helpful to him to talk out loud when sleep was threatening his mind. He had read that doing so would keep him alert. It didn’t work. He dosed off at 3:01:32 AM. The timeline was intact.

* * *

The snow picked up while Jim stood, watching and thinking. If he had a desk job, working nine to five, or even a job working on cars or something mechanical, this moment of sheer amazement would not happen. This was the best thing he could do with his life. Jim laughed out loud at his imagined picture of him being a telemarketer. It was just so far from his persona. The laugh frightened a few deer away. No, that wasn’t practical. He hadn’t laughed loud enough to scare that many, plus the ones that ran away were all the way on the other side of the herd. Something was wrong. Jim realized two moments too late. Around the bend came a tanker truck.

Grant awoke to the sound of broken deer under his tires, accompanied by the thuds they caused to the chassis. He had closed his eyes just before the turn. He was at an angle on the road, most certainly heading off the edge in seconds if he didn’t correct himself soon. Grant’s sleepless body mindlessly yanked the wheel to the left. The thoughtless actions resulted in the truck over correcting. Centripetal force threw the truck sideways, the wet snow lightening any friction the road would’ve caused. The truck, no less than fifty yards away from Jim, started rolling and then sliding, shooting sparks everywhere. 

Jim sprinted back from the accident but was hit from behind by something large enough to kill him, whether it be debris or animal. The instant the object touched him he knew something significant had happened. Not that he had much time to realize it before he banged his forehead on the paved road. The sky filled with flame and the mountains shook with the sudden explosion of the tanker of gasoline. Jim blacked out, his face in the asphalt, a large object pinning him down and crushing his abdomen. The last breath he would breath in this world was knocked out of him by the explosion that must certainly meant his death.

Yet it was 3:02:09 AM and Jim was still very alive. The timeline had been changed.

So that is the first chapter, fourth edition. I hope you enjoyed it. I updated it because the one I put on earlier had some sucky additions.

I am taking a test right now

For a stupid class. I am actually writing this at 11:55 Wednesday night, but I know I will be angry right now. So let's just have something great.

It'll take me a lot of courage tomorrow. Well I guess today since this won't post until tomorrow. Weird. I am tired.

Near death and bird whispering

So after I went post happy Saturday, I went on a hike to my favorite area in the world, Indian Springs. Taft and I went up there. As we neared the spring, I noticed a rattler as big as my arm at its thickest point three feet from Taft and about a foot off the trail. Let us just say we booked it out of that area. So yeah, I came a foot away from almost certain death.
Today, I was trying to impress a girl (pretty far fetched, right?). Anyway, we started talking about the hummingbird feeder on my back porch. She was enthralled that the hummingbirds would stop flying to perch on the feeder. For some reason, this conversation reminded me of a story I was once told about my brother, Bob, and him holding a wild hummingbird. All I remember from the story is that he held his hand next to the feeder for a long time without moving and it landed on him. I hadn't much foresight as I said, "This will take a minute." I really didn't have any clue or even any hope that it would work. But sure enough, as the first hummingbird approached, it perched on my outstretched finger. I guess I am really impressive, but it really isn't a big deal. I didn't get a video and when I tried again for seven minutes while recording, I ended up with nothing. But I mean, ha. I am pretty proud of my ability to go headfirst into that. Good educated guess.
I will eventually continue writing the book that I am always thinking about on Friday. It just sucks because as the highest student in any of my teacher's English classes on the CRT (I aced it with 100%), it's hard to believe I have a C-. Actually it's not too hard when you know that my English teacher hates me. But we won't name names because I don't slander people.
School? Stupid. Next year will be better.
Also, this post has a lot of labels. It is just that everywhere.

Agencies

I guess if I want to get published, I'll have to do it without an agent. For my second novel they'll be flooding my gates. I still need an idea for the first one, though.

So here is the thing about last year...

Turns out I skipped all of 2011 due to a rip in the time-space continuum. So I went back in time near the beginning of 2013 and lived all the way to about right now. I am going back to live my the rest of my senior year. Oh one more thing, I went farther in time and I turn out a really hot, famous author, so if your a girl and are reading this, I would definitely pre-order me. Seriously though.

Thanksgiving

Sorry, I have been super busy. I really started writing this the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Here is my gratitude in a post.
Well. Thanksgiving. One of the best, most overshadowed holidays ever. Christmas really has a knack for oozing all over November, doesn't it? But because of the beautiful day of thanks, I would like to share with you what I am grateful for.
Things

• These probably sound really materialistic, but I don't care.
• My iPhone. Anyone who has spent ten minutes with me knows I use it more than a high school girl doesn't eat lunch. I really do love it (in a non-addiction way).
• My bed. I can lay in there and fall asleep in less than a minute (which is not a good thing after I turn off my alarm). I almost never want to leave it.
• My glasses. I deserve bad eyes because for the first eleven years of my life, I wanted glasses. I thought I looked good with them. They really help me see and I don't look half bad.
• My gospel library. With the combined power of the standard works, Preach My Gospel and lots of other manuals, I can study any subject. I really love spending that half hour every night set aside to study. I always get something out of it.
• Books. I can never get enough reading material.
• Trees. I wish I had had a tree house because I love trees.
• Water. I can't live three days without the stuff.

Places

• My room. I sleep in it. I study in it. That's why I love it.
• My house (especially when I'm alone). Their is a level of comfort in one's home that is unobtainable for any other place.
• The KPGR radio room. I love being on the radio. Really, it is so much fun. I can forget the stupidity of the world and just enjoy myself. I love it.
• Indian Springs. You know how every person has one place that isn't a part of the rest of the world? That is how I feel about Indian Springs. It is one of the most relaxing places in the world.
• The temple. If you don't know why I love this place, you haven't been there.
• My desk. I really only study my scriptures there and type letters. I think I have had more personal revelation there than anywhere else in the world.

People

• My parents. They care for me and they forget that they don't have a choice in my missionary plans (they want me to stay home and be with them instead of leaving). They are so good to me.
• Trevor Ward. I have talked about him a few times. I haven't even scratched the surface of the man I care about. He is one of the best friends I have ever had. He is a great guy.
• Kassie Hamilton. She is a great artist and song writer and sometimes I think that she doesn't know how much I care about her. She is like the sister I never had. She is kind to everyone, even the ones I know she wants to punch in the face (which is me, some of the times).
• Brock Duclos. I miss him so much and he really shows how a missionary should be. He is great.
• Russell Mayo. He is a teacher at PGHS. He teaches Radio. He changed my life. He is one of the nicest, most selfless people I've met and I am happy he teaches at my school.
• Delanie Doyle. She seems to be one person who always is nice to me, even when I shove her into a brick wall, or embarrass her in front of everyone, or any of the other things she accuses me of doing(long stories for all of those). She is a great example of love.
• Brennan Burnett. He and I share a radio show on KPGR 88.1 FM Wednesdays 3:30-4:30. Although we don't always see eye to eye, our show is one thing I always look forward to.
• You. I love people who read my blog and give me feedback. It is what I want to do for my career, so please feel free to read and love.
• I really appreciate so many people, it would be hard to write about them all. So if their is someone not on this list that I know, chances are I am grateful for them.

That is just a fragment of what I am grateful for. Please, think of what you are grateful for every day of every year. It makes all the difference in the world.

I think I will be posting more tonight after I post this. I really want to write more, I just haven't the time.

Slughorn

These two are basically the same person. Dare to counter me. They even look alike. Seriously, I can't see any differences.

Everything is okay

I sure do enjoy my life. It is one of those times when you can't think of anything bad. I've been hanging out with two of my best friends, Trevor Ward and Kassie Hamilton. I have had the best week.

Here is my next week:

• Special Needs Sacrament Meeting tomorrow at 8:45 AM.
• No school after Tuesday
• I'm going on a date with the beautiful Lauren Miner. We are doubling with Trevor and his date, Megan Francis, and we are going to see our Curley, Taft Robinson, in the play, Into the Woods.
• I have something Wednesday. I'll get back to you on it. I forgot.
• Thursday is Thanksgiving. I sure do enjoy that November gem.
• Friday I don't have to avoid Christmas music. Seriously, we can avoid listening to that stuff until after Thursday. An entire month is plenty for any genre of music.
• Saturday I don't have school.
• Sunday is Sunday.
• Then back to school (but we don't think about that).

Another thing. You know how I want to be an author? Well, I got this book that a majority of high school students would mistake for a phonebook. It is not a phonebook. It is the 2011 Writer's Market, which holds every single publisher in the United States. For an author, it's pretty dang awesome. I decided I couldn't waste a resource like that, so I decided to do something. I am in the process of writing a short story which I will submit until it is published (probably in 2058). I am really excited. I will post the story, first draft, when I finish.

Needless to say, my life is going by perfectly.

Stenographer

So for all you people like me who would have to look up this word, it is basically the person who takes notes during court cases. It is probably one of the few jobs that has to do with writing that I would not enjoy. If I haven't made this apparent enough, I will be a famous author someday. I am currently working on a short story that I will submit to a Sci-Fi magazine. It will be the best.
I got asked to Sadies. I am pretty excited. Dance number three. How is school for everyone? Don't forget to be friendly. I have been extremely tired this week. I went to bed prior to eleven o'clock, which won't happen tonight.
I love writing. I am so excited for my life. If I had food and shelter and no responsibilities, I could write forever. It is my love, it is my passion, it is my fault I didn't lock the garage (Ferris Bueller was a quoting necessity). What do you live for? I love getting feedback from my readers, because if you suck, people will say so. If you are the best, people will still say you suck. Now tell me I suck.

Bucket List: Almost

I got close. Really, really close. I didn't go on a date with that girl. I still haven't. I really wish I could soon, but I don't think it is going to happen during my high school career. ******Update****** I did get a chance to go on a date with that girl. May I say that it was fanTAStic? I stayed in Utah all summer. I just never got the chance to not be here. I almost slept a whole night outside, but I went inside because my bed sucked and I had no heat. I didn't ride in Mr. Miyagi's Camaro, but I will sometime. I didn't even watch War of the Buttons with someone, let alone have people share it. I did not play baseball. That is something I want to do soon.

• Go on a date at least once every 2 weeks (on average).
• Get Hannah Schill to talk to me again.
• Go on a date with that girl.
• Sleep in past noon.
• Go to the Strawberry Days Rodeo.
• Eat Strawberries and Cream.
• Go to Scout Camp.
• Be in the Strawberry Days Parade.
• Be a Viking.
• Quit my job.
• Start working at tamsolutions.
• Read the Shadow Saga.
• Read Preach My Gospel 3 times.
• Leave Utah for a trip.
• Sleep outside on not a campout for a full night.
• See Harry Potter 7.5.
• Go to the The Decemberists concert.
• Go to the Fleet Foxes concert.
• Go to the Farmer's Market in SLC.
• Play a good game of five card stud (betting with candy, of course).
• Ride in my neighbor's Camaro.
• Make people aware of the film War of the Buttons, aka one of the best films of all time.
• Do a backflip.
• Go on the natural water slide in Alpine.
• Go scuba diving with mi madre y hermano.
• Watch all the Star Wars films.
• See X-Men: First Class.
• See Thor.
• Read To Kill a Mockingbird at least twice.
• Play baseball.

You're your mom's favorite!

Because all I that is happening in my life is school, I decided to share some of my favorite things. Here you go:

My favorite smell is Barnes and Noble. I love the smell of books. I could literally live in the Orem B&N. I can't get enough.

My favorite color is red. I love the power that it has. I'm not a Nazi. Or a communist.

My favorite day of the week is Sunday. I can always look forward to it as a day where I can relax (even though I end up doing more church stuff than I intended, which results in me being in my suit for eight hours straight).

My favorite TV show is Psych. It is so choice. Just to let you know, I watched about 4 hours of it yesterday, then Keven Carlson and I made Psych shirts. He kept telling me I was acting like Shawn.
My favorite things to do are writing and hiking. I could really hike for years and write longer. If it weren't for school and other responsibilities, that is all I would do.

My favorite place to be is in the mountains. I totally understand why prophets of old used mountains as temples. Going into the mountain wilderness is a sure way of feeling the spirit.

My favorite feeling is accomplishment. I love finishing a school assignment or a project I'm working on and having that feeling of relieve and happiness.

My favorite book in the standard works is the Doctrine and Covenants. I love learning the gospel and reading about Joseph Smith and other modern day prophets. I love so many scriptures in D&C.

My favorite thought is thinking about my future wife. She is somewhere right now, having all the guys hit on her (because she is obviously amazingly beautiful). I love thinking about where she is on her journey and I love being worried about how she is doing. She better stay on the straight and narrow. I love her so much.

My favorite food is meat. One time at scout camp, Taft and I went to get meat with our leaders and we saw George Lucas there. True story.

Basically my favorite animal is a liger.

My favorite film and novel are non-existent because I love too many to choose.

My favorite time of year is the end of the school year. You don't  realize how stifled you are until you get out.

My favorite thing ever is the gospel of Jesus Christ. I think that if you aren't Mormon, you should read this.

My heroes are my brothers and my father. All of them have gone on missions, which doesn't happen often. I hope someday I can be as great of men as they are.

So there is a butt load of information about me. If you have any questions, deal with it. Haha, I'm joking. Ask already.

Write of Passage

I am not an idiot. I know "write" is not the same as "rite." You'll get my point in a bit.

I love English. I love reading novels, writing stuff (hey, like a blog!), and just thinking about how to form a sentence properly. I don't just read a book, I study it. I make sure I get the full meaning of the text by paying attention to spelling and grammar. English is what I live for. So I have a chance to write stories and get paid for it. I really think that I could be good at that. When I write, I feel like my mind produces the text of my life. When I finish a paragraph, I am always completely satisfied with it. Otherwise, I would not be done with it. I find myself accidentally writing essays in my free time. I live to write.

I wonder if Kurt Vonnegut felt this burning passion to change the world through words. I wonder if this is how Harper Lee felt as she wrote what billions have read. I wonder what it takes to be great. Will the name "Duclos" appear as much as "Rowling"? Can I  become great? Can I succeed?

It is summer

If you look to the left of this wonderful text you will see the books I'm reading. I have too much time on my hands. I put in my two weeks notice yesterday. Sooooo happy. Goodbye Macey's, hello tamsolutions.

Books

I love books. Books are the best. Better than drugs, anyway. My friend, Ashley, reminded me how much I love books. Here are some great books: To Kill a Mockingbird, The Princess Bride, The Han Solo Trilogy, Peter and the Starcatchers, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Ender's Game, A Princess of Mars, Fahrenheit 451, The Greatest Salesman in the World, Anthem, The Standard Works, Borlaug, A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Boy Who Dared, and October Sky, just to name a few.


Sometimes I wear a shirt I got at DI. This shirt has "Darrin" embroidered on it and is a button up, blue shirt. I haven't really worn it since I got my wife-beaters. So, I found that when I wear "Darrin" and my wife-beat, I feel like a redneck. Having stubble helps, too.

That isn't ROOT beer.

Do not worry, it isn't beer, either. It is just an old CapriSun I found in the cupboard. That is about it.